Musashi Makan Angin

Recover Soon, My Dear! Let Them Go Peacefully! (2)

2011-11-19T14:42:00.012+08:00

I called my department head, Dik Nunuk Purwanti. She was crying to know the news. Yes, my father was familiar with almost all my friends and colleagues. I called Anne to inform her relative, Mas Geha, and asked them to accompany Mas Rahman. My brother Sani called me again and said, "Sis, it is fine. It is ok . . . he has gone peacefully. He smiled and rest peacefully. The most important thing is that you are safe there, calm, and there will be a pick up for you later at the airport. Fine and alright, Sis?"

Then Mas Rahman called me, "Ika Dear, everything is fine here. Your colleagues from the department ask my permittion that they will pick you up at the airport. So they will pick you up." I told him, "But I want you to hold me now, Mas . . . ." He said, "Ya, I will hold you tight upon your arrival. Now, you have to be calm and we will take care of father. Oke? Please, just pray and do not cry anymore." I tried to call my youngest brother Trias . . . but he did not pick up my call. I called Mbak Diah Tri Widayati, my close friend and my brother`s colleague in the university, to call him.

Two hours to wait for my flight was actually like loooooong years. But I finally boarded the aircraft. When I arrived Yogyakarta airport, Dik Nunuk had already at the arrival gate. She cried and hugged me tight. "I did not have opportunity to say sorry or say good bye to him," I was crying. Dik Nunuk and Dik Anne said, "Mbak Ika . . . you can say good bye by your praying. I am sure he is very proud of you. Even when he closed his eye, you were in a duty."

When I arrived home . . . my father was at home already. I found Mas Rahman who hugged me, my brother Sani, and finally also my brother Trias. Mas Rahman took my hand everytime he was free from doing preparations for funeral. Many people prayed for him. No stop. They came after others. My house were full with jamaah shalat. Mbak Diah told me, "My Dear Friend, Mbak Ika . . . Subhanallah. I have never seen a funeral like this. People love your father very much. I can see . . . . Insya Allah khusnul khatimah, Dear." I just cried and said, "Amin."

How beautiful was his farewell, with hundreds people . . . . I myself wanted to have it at the end of my life.

So that the last day of your life will be the best day of your life.

We should have brought my father at 03.00 PM to his funeral but up to 04.00 PM we were not able to stop people who came for him, who were praying for him. Indeed only good things remain about my father and my mother . . . (To be continued).

Recover Soon, My Dear! Let Them Go Peacefully! (1)

2011-11-19T13:47:00.013+08:00

It was early in the morning on October 26, 2011. A day that I will never forget during my lifetime. I was in a queue of Garuda Indonesia Airlines in Jakarta International Airport. I had already had my ticket at 11.20 that day, but something drove me to the airport very early in the morning to try to get earlier flight before 11.20. I did not know why I did really want to change it for earlier flight.

Drop of water in a window. One day in my office . . . .

As usual, it was always full flights from Jakarta to Yogyakarta. I did not force anybody else or airlines officers for my own purposes because I understood that each person in a queue had their own important considerations to get earlier flight. My father was hospitalized night before, so I did not want to disturb anybody else considerations by pushing them to give me the opportunity to get earlier flights "only" because of that reason.

It was 09.00 in the morning (I was there from 05.00) when finally the officer told me, "I am so sorry, Doctor, today it is really full booked. Even all business classes. The earliest flight for you is 11.20 as you have in your ticket." I told him, no problemo. I just wanted to see my father earlier if possible. That is how I finally walked into the lounge . . . when suddenly my brother called me and cried, "Sis, he is gone already.Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rojiun." I was so weak and got back to the airline counter to tell them my situation. "Oh Doctor, you should have told us earlier. Now it is totally impossible for you to get earlier flight," he said. I told him I did not want to push them only because my father was sick.

But my father just went away and it was too late for me. I was crying silently in the lounge. I did not remember anymore in detail what I did and what communication I did at that time . . . . What I remember was that I just kept praying for my father. What I remember was a day before I told him I had to go to Jakarta and told him about the story of delicious lapis legit from Bali which I served him. What I remember was indeed all good things with him and my late Mom. It was like two days to wait for my flight in two hours (To be continued).

It Is For You!

2011-08-02T17:21:00.011+08:00

It was 8 years ago when I was in Fukuoka. Very early in the morning. A telephone call came into my apartment. I did not realize exactly what happened. What I remember now is that . . . a news that my mother passed away. It was so sad for me to hear the news.

I still remember how she treated people and her students very well. I always followed her teaching as a senior high school teacher when I was an elementary school child.

However, I did understand exactly that she would soon leave me. "Ika, please do not think of me. Only please think about your study that you must complete, and your children. Oke? Do not cry. I, your mother, am fine," she said, less than a week before her leaving. My brothers were already in Indonesia. They were flying from The Netherlands and from Japan to accompany her in the hospital. It was unfortunate for me because I did not get the airplane ticket to go back before August 2, 2003. It was summer holiday and a peak season.

In the evening my brother Sani and Trias called me and said, "Mbak (Sis), you must be very happy. Many people sent her and prayed for her. We have never seen many people sent someone like people sending her." I remember how my Mom was very helpful to people. I remember how she treated others like her own part of life. Now . . . 8 years after she left us, I would like to send her my praying:

"Ya Allah Yang Maha Pemurah . . . Ampunilah dosanya. Limpahkanlah rahmat kepadanya. Terimalah amal ibadahnya. Hapuskanlah kesalahannya. Muliakanlah tempatnya. Sayangilah ia sebagaimana ia telah menyayangiku. Amin."

From Mina To Mecca After Jamarat (3)

2011-01-11T00:03:00.005+08:00

Praying after jamarat.

For me photography is an art to see. By photography, I will see something in detail, sometimes by different eyes. By photography, I understand that I must see by my heart so that I can make the world better place to stay. By photography I do not only have records in something I found during my journey but also the spirit to see the future.

From Mina to Mecca for thawaf.

This hajj journey was very remarkable journey to my eyes, and of course to my heart. It was really beautiful, even in a very bad condition or situation. I was lucky to finally come in the year 2010. This is me, God. I came only for you, only because of my love to you.

Helping person on the way to Mecca.

From Mina To Mecca After Jamarat (2)

2011-01-08T10:53:00.004+08:00

People took a bath after tahalul. On the way to Mecca from Mina by my eyes.

After finishing the rituals in three jamarats, we headed directly to Mecca to do thawaf ifadah. There were so many people on that day. They were all heading for a thawaf.

Tahalul and heading to Mecca.

From Mina To Mecca After Jamarat (1)

2011-01-08T10:20:00.007+08:00

The things people did not practice during hajj: to keep everything and everywhere clean.

It was already around 09.00 in the morning when I was back to Mina, because we cleaned up Muzdalifah. FYI, Only our group cleaned up Muzdalifah. Other groups just left their garbages wherever they were able to leave the garbage. It was so sad because actually cleanliness is one of the most importance teachings in Islam but wherever during Hajj pilgrimage, it was so difficult to find cleanliness.

Many were in Mina at that time. It was soooo dirty in Mina because many people never care of the cleanliness taught in Islam. "We must be consistent with all we do in our daily life in Japan," that is what we ageeed in our group. So, we took plastic bags and started to do cleaning for the whole maktab number 58. I was cleaning the toilets with many disgusting things left. Other than helping our group to clean every dirty things left in the maktab, an Indonesian lady (from Indonesia groups in the maktab) told me, "Aduuuh, yang dari Jepang. Bersih-bersih niiii." I thought she wanted to say to me something negatively about the cleaning. To my surprise, I did not say anything and was just quiet and so patient while continuing the cleaning. It was the only real bad thing during the journey. I hope someday they will understand the importance of cleanliness and understand that religious teachings are nothing without daily practices.

After finishing the cleaning, Mas Rahman and I prepared to go for Jamarat. We collected stones for going to three jamarats.

Going Back To Mina From A Beautiful Night

2011-01-07T04:36:00.010+08:00

A beautiful night in Muzdalifah.

"Indomie seleraku," a night with pop nuddle.

It was so fast to feel the silent beautiful night in Muzdalifah. Now I know why many people want to come back for hajj pilgrimage. It was so peaceful night. Everytime I remember the day and night in Arafah and Muzdalifah, my tears drop. During that moment, all in my heart was thinking about the greatest power in the universe. Labbaika Allahumma Labbaik. I was a very lucky guest at that time.

Little Hajj in our group named Aysh. He is originally a Malaysian boy.

However, life must go on. Sun must rise again on the next day to start another history. It was time to go back to Mina after our stay in Muzdalifah. Wherever I went. Whenever I heard was only the hopes and the praying. I myself forgot to pray. I was just silent. It was tooooo nice and toooo beautiful to just feel the moment. Only that inside my heart: I really want to die peacefully and before that I want to contribute as much as possible for humankind.

Mas Rahman by the morning of Muzdalifah.

Stop Press: Relax For A While

2011-01-03T23:47:00.005+08:00

Although tonight I finally finished to write a lecture note for students, and completing review for Acta Biomaterialia, but . . . many duties are awaiting here. Journal submission, completing again journal review, publishing and printing some work sheets, writing research report, and writing final test for students. Meanwhile, I have to take care of school transfer for my children, set house after we left it for a while, and take care of my father and step mother who were both hospitalized. Ok, let us do it one by one, Ika. But now you need to relax, first! I am uploading the pictures I took when I was taking my children to Fukuoka Zoo. The pictures of giraffe.

A Night In Muzdalifah

2011-01-03T01:29:00.010+08:00

A night in Muzdalifah.

It was one of the most beautiful nights in my life.

Reda Kenawy, our group leader, was discussing something at that night.

We filled our day by praying in Arafah, and listening to khutbah. It was hot there, but it was so cool and peaceful inside. There were some events when I found the "real character" of human being as they were in their daily life. Many things happened. For example, I found someone from my country but not from our Japanese group, took water and food which were not his right to take. His face showed us that he is not uneducated. His face looked so intellectual, clean, and rich, but really what he did was very embarrasing. I was crying to see that. Not because he stole something from our group, but because it was so embarrasing to find what he did.

Sky was above us. A beautiful night in Muzdalifah, by my shutter.

Now, I understand, why my country is still undeveloped: It is because people were like him. How can someone like him to be accountable if he were on top of government?

However, I do not want to tell more in detail because what I found on that day was only that all people I met were smiling to me, and they showed their loves to me. I do not want to loose the memory of love and beautiful things I found during my journey. If possible, I wanted to be always on that day. After sunset, we moved to Muzdalifah, prayed Maghrib and Isya, then stayed the whole night in Muzdalifah under the sky . . . . Most hajj were just staying for a while in Muzdalifah, but our group was staying all night long.

Peaceful night by my eyes.

It was very beautiful night. Sky was above me. Half moon was there above my eyes. I was sleeping all night long peacefully. I was ready to die at that time . . . . Inside my heart, there was only love and peace. I was with the universe. I felt peaceful universe inside me . . . . Allahu Akbar.

Great Day In Arafah

2011-01-03T00:25:00.010+08:00

A tree in Arafah, where I prayed during the day under this tree.

Mina at night by my eyes.

The sign in Mina, close to Jamarat.

Our night stay in Mina was full with learning, to prepare ourselves for wukuf (the day in Arafah), and hajj rituals. It was so wonderful because what I heard was only the "sound of love". There were the sound of praying everywhere. It was so wonderful because what was inside my mind was only the hopes for the people I love very much: Neta, Fesa, Mas Rahman, my father, my late mother, Dik Sani and family, Dik Didit and family, my uncles and aunties, my step mother, my gurus (Ishikawa, Tabata, Faizal and Kak Laila, Shahnor, Prof. Jansen), my friends like Anne, Retno, Nunuk, Ibu Lipur, and Dyah and other people who are always floating around in my heart.

Tents in Mina.

My tears dropped. I always want them to be happy. I prayed for them all day and night during my stay in Mecca and Mina. It was so peaceful to remember them. It was so peaceful that they came into my life. It was . . . my sound of love in my praying. I did not know what my life would be without them. They have made my life soooo meaningful and beautiful.

A tent in South East Asia maktab.

The day after, it was Arafah Day. Our bus brought us from Mina to Arafah. I was not able to stop my tears anymore. Millions of people were using white ihram clothes. They did not say anything other than: Labbaika Allahumma Labbaik. It is me, God. I come only for You. I was crying because I remembered how Prophet Mohammad tried to be struggle for what he believed.

For 22 years . . . Mohammad did not give up for even a single day. And . . . what he tried to struggle for was able to be seen on that day: Arafah day, when people came to Arafah only because of love. He was really great person. I felt so small. I felt so weak. It was so easy for me to cry, to complain, only because what I faced so far. It was nothing compared to what Prophet Mohammad faced. On that day, I promised myself to be stronger and to be more istiqamah to struggle for what I believe I should do. I really want to contribute something to humankind, though just a tiny one, before I die. On that great day, again I prayed for people I love very much and people who love me . . . .

Meeting Hoja Among Millions People

2010-12-30T10:54:00.007+08:00

We proceeded to Mina very early in the morning, around 01.00. The plan itself was at 22.00 but as usual in Saudia Arabia: Not only about but . . . very very about. I got a short message from one of my guru, the saxophonist, "Ika, Kak Linda is at Maktab 73. We all pray for you." That was why I tried to find Kak Linda. But . . . she was not there yet. As other hajj on that day, they chose to directly go to Arafah without mabid in Mina.

Hoja, my colleague when I was studying in Kyushu University. We met again in Mina.

Then . . . Mas Rahman and I tried to go around Mina. It was in front of Maktab 75 when I told Mas Rahman, "Mas, that is Hoja. Remember Hoja?" Mas Rahman did not remember him. He approached Hoja, talked about Chinese Moslem but then I came and asked, "Excuse me, Brother. I was in Kyushu University before. At the faculty . . . I had an Uigur friend. His name is Hoja." He smiled and said, "Yes, Ika Dewi Ana. This is Hoja. Your friend. How are you?" Then we laughed. It was surprising to see him there. He is an oral surgeon and we usually went together with some friends for lunch or canteen during my study in Kyushu University.

This sign helped us to stay in a group. But do not stay in a crowd for your life, Ika.

Again, to our surprise, we met Hoja again after going to Jamarat. "There must be something why we met him twice among millions people here," Mas Rahman told me. "Maybe, as an oral surgeon, he must do clinical trials for the bone graft I invented," I said. Nobody knows, but that was a message.

Long Silent Time To Remember (10)

2010-12-29T16:18:00.009+08:00

After two days of "free" days to explore Mecca and reflect about love, struggling, life searching, as well as to train myself to see whatever I face by heart and be more patient, it was time to start another hajj journey by having mabid in Mina. Most of hajj directly went to Arafah but our group decided to stay a night in Mina before doing wukuf as it was done by Prophet Mohammad.

Our maktab number 58. Our group tents were located in South East Asia Maktab Number 58.

We started over again the ihram. It was only labbaika allahumma labbaik we heard all over the journey. I was crying because I was touched. I felt nothing. What I felt at that time was that how Mohammad was really extraordinary human being. For 22 years he tried to be consistent and to struggle for what he believes.

Mina, on the day before Arafah day.

On that day . . . it was proven that what Mohammad had struggled for was followed by people from different race, social backgrounds, creed, etc. Allahumma shalli alaa Mohammad wa alaa ali Mohammad.

Long Silent Time To Remember (9)

2010-12-29T12:06:00.004+08:00

Taneem Mosque in Taneem. It is also called Aisyah Mosque.

Haram starts here. A sign in Taneem Mosque.

The sign in Taneem where people start ihram.

Long Silent Time To Remember (8)

2010-12-29T11:36:00.005+08:00

Sign of the beginning and the end of haram boundary in Taneem, where people can take miqad for ihram.

After finishing the umrah (tawaful qudoom and sai), we had spare times to visit some places in Mecca and Taneem. It was great times to reflect on the meaning of love, struggling, leadership, and consistency.

A place where Prophet Mohammad Saw. was born. Now it becomes Mecca Al Mukarramah Library.

Long Silent Time To Remember (7)

2010-12-29T10:19:00.006+08:00

Be careful with Barbar Shop.

A hajj family in Mecca.

In a relax morning, close to the market.

Nun for breakfast.

A queu line for a nun in the morning, in front of Al Maktroub.

Sometimes, I know I do not need words to express my feeling, my experiences. Just like the story in Mecca. I promised myself that soon I will start to write a book on hajj pilgrimage. A close friend suggested me, "Give the title of your book Hajj Travelogue." Really a lot of colorful experiences I found that is worth to record. I will not let them go without having the traces in this blog.

Long Silent Time To Remember (6)

2010-12-28T16:27:00.005+08:00

I arrived Mecca the next day, early in the morning at 02.30. Our hotel was located around 400 meters from King Fatah Gate of the Masjidil Haram. I had different room with Mas Rahman. It had to be so tiring but I did not want to rest. I asked Mas Rahman to soon do Tawaf and Sai.

Tawaf and Sai.

We started the tawaf as it is taught from Hajural Aswad, passing Yemeni Corner, and we were so lucky because we were able to reach Station Ibrahim and Hajarul Aswad easily. Nothing was more touching than seeing millions of people came there only because of "LOVE". Labbaika Allahumma Labbaik. It is me, God. I came only for you, with my love inside my heart. I was crying not because of anything, but because of love.

Post-scriptum: I took the pictures here by my pocket Ixy-Canon. I left my Nikon D-90 for tawaf and sai.

Long Silent Time To Remember (5)

2010-12-28T15:15:00.009+08:00

The porters at Jeddah Airport.

As I told both Professor Jansen and Ishikawa that I really would like to be more patient to be in the journey, I really learned how to be more patient. "You are very patient, Ika-San. Why you need more?" Ishikawa asked me. I said that I want to be more patient in every situations. "I need to train myself more," I said. Really that I had to be patient since my first step in Jeddah when I arrived. Nothing was clear. Nothing was exact. Everything was unsure. No exact time. Everything was "about" with bold capital letter.

While we were waiting them in uncertainty, they were sooooo relax.

We arrived Jeddah at around 09.00 in the morning. Soon after our arrival, we really did not know where to go. Everything was by unclear instruction. No signs. To my surprised, I was able to receive everything happened to me. Professor Jansen always said that, "Ika is well organized." I will soon critisize if there is something which is not organized well. But at that time I was soooooooooo quiet. I think the way they manage and organize hajj pilgrimage was so bad. However, I did not say anything and waited for the bus to bring us to Mecca until 22.00 at night patiently. All my focus was to complete my journey . . . . and enjoy whatever I face.

Long Silent Time To Remember (4)

2010-12-28T11:11:00.006+08:00

Before continuing my story on my long silence, there was an unforgettable story about my colleague from Kyushu University, Ira Artilia, and her husband Umar Khayyam. They registered for hajj from Japan with us. When there was a bioceramics conference, Ira presented her works as well. It was the last day when Ira had to fly back earlier to Fukuoka but no flights from Yogyakarta at all. "No worry, I will call my driver to take you to the airport in Jakarta," I told her. She was so afraid that she would miss her flight.

The roof of Jeddah Airport.

Then I called my driver. My driver got surprised, "Ibu Ika, I thought I had to take her to Yogyakarta airport which is 10 minutes from the hotel. But . . . it was Jakarta International Airport which is at least 15 hours driving from here." "Please, just make sure that she will be reaching the airport in time. This is emergency situation. She has to fly for hajj. God bless you," I told him.

At the same time, my passport with hajj visa was sent by travel agent to her address. It never reached me when Ira came to Yogyakarta because the passport reached her address late. Thank God that I had already prepared official passport to enter Japan, so I did not need the passport (which has hajj visa) with me. When we met each other in Hongkong Airport, we cried. "It was not easy time for us, Ika-San, but you decided everything fast and properly. You are wonderful lady," she said. I just cried, did not say anything, and was happy that even in a difficult situation we finally reached Hongkong and were ready for another journey.

Long Silent Time To Remember (3)

2010-12-27T16:55:00.013+08:00

We prepared to fly to Jeddah soon after my arrival to Tokyo. It was really busy time because I had to prepare also school transfer for my children, since they were about to leave "Shinonome Elementary School" and "Fukagawa V Junior High School" and to be back to Indonesia in the beginning of December. Mas Rahman and I talked to Neta and Fesa that they both should be ready to live without us soon after we board the plane to Jeddah. Neta was about to cry. She is a very responsible and mature child. Fesa was also about to cry, only that her nature is different. She wanted to show us that everything would be fine with her, even without us.

People, all over the world, with different backgrounds, were there. Moslem at Maqam Ibrahim (Station Ibrahim) in Masjidil Haram.

I was lucky because I should have flew on November 6 from Tokyo. But then I wrote Reda Kenawy, person from Air 1 Travel who managed our hajj journey that it would be difficult for me to fly on November 6 from Tokyo because I would still have to organize international symposium by November 6. He said it would be fine to move my flight to the last flight on November 9, 2010. "This is hajj for busy people," he said. Then it was time for us to fly from Narita to Hongkong, then to Abu Dhabi, where we prepared for ihram during our journey.

By His love they came. With their loves people did efforts to come. People around Hajural Aswad.

Airplane was flying over the Sea of Arab. I flew over the ocean. It has been hundred times for me to go by plane and visited more than 16 countries I have ever visited. But it was so different. My tears dropped. It was just three days before when I was still in a conference, with colleagues, but I was at that time having another journey.

Labbaika Allahumma Labbaik. This is me to come for you.

The cabin crew announced our position when we were about to take miqad and to start ihram. My tears dropped. I have never expected to go for hajj this year. Our government told us that we would only be able to go for hajj in 2016. The invitation from the Almighty came earlier: He invited us together with Japanese group. Labbaika Allahumma labbaik. This is me, God. I came for you. I came only for you . . . .

Post-scriptum: All pictures here were my shoots, taken by Nikon D-90. It was announced that we can not take pictures inside Masjidil Haram. But it was so easy and so lucky for me to bring big camera and take pictures. I took the pictures with all my tears.

Long Silent Time To Remember (2)

2010-12-24T16:25:00.007+08:00

We had a 14 hours travel from Yogyakarta to Jakarta by bus. Ishikawa`s flight would be at 20.00 by Singapore Airlines. Meanwhile, it was already 16.00 when we reached Tegal. It needed at least 5 hours to reach Jakarta from Tegal in a very cloudy condition by vulcanic ash. For others, including me, our earliest flight would be at 23.30 by Garuda Indonesia to Tokyo. For the ones who took Air India, Korea Airlines, or KLM, it had been announced that all flights were cancelled. Fortunately, I monitored with Ibu Agnes all the flights. "Sensei, SQ was cancelled. You do not need to worry about reaching Jakarta late," I told Ishikawa. "That is fine, but it means I should stay longer, Ika-San. I should have been flying by Garuda with you," he said. I smiled.

Autumn in Odaiba, where my angels spent some of their lovely days without their mother.

Finally, we arrived Jakarta International Airport. I made sure that all participants who had flight from Jakarta were safe and certain about the flights and hotels. "Thank you, Ika-San. I think the symposium was very successful. See you again in Tsukuba," said Kikuchi Sensei. It was very released to know them settled. I made my own check in and then went to SQ counter to check Ishikawa. "I will stay in Borobudur Hotel," he said. "You must change your flight to SQ and stay with me," he said and smiled. "No, Sensei. In that case, I will miss my next flight to Hongkong, Abu Dhabi, and Jeddah. For this journey, I do not want to miss it," I said. Mas Rahman called and also my father. They were very worry about the flight. "Alhamdulillah, you took Garuda this time. If not, you will have cancellation, Ika," my father was feeling released.

The autumn leaves. The lovely season for me. Beautiful nature colors. Beautiful fashion. Delicious food.

It was time to say good bye to my big brother Ishikawa. It was very touching and wonderful time. I was about to cry. And . . . it was time to fly to Tokyo with some other participants by Garuda Indonesia. It was November 7, 2010, when I reached Tokyo with its autumn leaves: The season I love very much. It was time to see rainbow bridge close to the apartment again. It was time to meet my two angels again. It was time to hug Mas Rahman again.

Autumn in The University of Tokyo, where Neta wants to study. Amen.

I thank God to grant me ease of journey towards Tokyo for Mecca, after my long wonderful busy unforgettable symposium. The first "real" international symposium organized by my laboratory, my faculty. Now I am crying to remember one of the biggest days in my life . . . . "Kokoro kara negaeba, hontou ni naru". It was hontou ni naru. My tears drop to remember those days. Great days.

Long Silent Time To Remember (1)

2010-12-23T10:43:00.012+08:00

It has been a looooooooong silent period for me.

It was great days to prepare 3 big events and the first journal launching in Yogyakarta. My junior colleague, Retno Ardhani, sometimes with some students, and me, stayed almost a month, 24 hours in the lab. It has been an energizing, inspiring, and meaningful sincere works to do. "Just keep continue the conference, Ibu. The vulcanology department informed us that the explosion on October 26 will be the biggest, so hopefully no more bigger eruption after all," said Ibu Agnes, our travel advisor. That is how we decided to continue the events in Yogyakarta: Second Workshop on Tissue Engineering, and The Tenth Asian Bioceramics Symposium. It was great day when first John Jansen, Nafarizal, and Kunio Ishikawa came.

Photo Session of The Tenth Asian BioCeramics Symposium, when some participants have not all came after the opening.

It was really great when one by one, 69 foreign participants from Asian countries came. It was an annual meeting for bioceramics society. "How are you?" asked Yasuhiko Tabata while having a joke with his very personal style towards me. It was a great day when Tabata and Jansen tried to make Ishikawa afraid of the vulcano. "So, we will leave on November 4. Just after we leave, you will find out biggest explosion that make you stay longer here," said Jansen and Tabata to Ishikawa. Ishikawa seemed worry but laughed.

It was a great day on November 5, 2010 when we successfully ended the Tenth Asian Bioceramics Symposium organized by my lab on November 2-5, 2010. Suddenly, Mount Merapi had its biggest explosion. Many people died. Vulcanic ash disturbed navigation system all over the country. Yogyakarta airport was closed. Airports in nearby cities were also closed. Jakarta International Airport which is located far far away was also affected, only Garuda Indonesia decided to fly in a cloudy air. Other airlines decided not to fly.

It was an unforgettable day when Ishikawa worked with us to prepare buses and cars to bring the participants to other cities to fly back to their countries. "You must fly to Japan tomorrow, Ika-San. You will have long journey to Mecca, so please go home for a while and prepare your luggage. I will wait for you here with them," Ishikawa told me. My father was so worry about me, and he said, "You will have long spiritual journey but you do not prepare anything yet."

When I finished prepare my luggage for only 30 minutes, my father hugged me, prayed for me, and said, "This is the first time I saw someone who will have hajj journey but prepare herself like she will just go to office. May Allah bless you always, Ika. You worked by your heart and never think of your own business. Have a safe spiritual journey, Ika." Tears dropped from his eyes. I went back to the hotel where the symposium was and prepared participants for trip by rent buses to Jakarta or Denpasar.

It was a great day, although Yogyakarta was like a dead city, like Pompei. I was at the same bus to Jakarta with Ishikawa and some other participants. I monitored other buses by phone and Ishikawa helped me so much. It was really an unforgettable moment in my life. I will continue my journal.

Notes: Missing A Time To Write . . . .

2010-10-14T02:09:00.006+08:00

Now, I am counting down a workshop on Tissue Engineering (November 1, 2010), The Tenth Asian BioCeramics Symposium (November 2-5, 2010, http://abc2010.ugm.ac.id/), the first launching of The Indonesian Journal of Dental Research (December 17, 2010, http://ijdr.fkg.ugm.ac.id/), as well as International Joint Symposium (December 16-18, 2010, in Bali, http://ijdr.fkg.ugm.ac.id/) which I have to chair the organizations. I may have to slow down anything elses and hope to succeed all the programs. Amin.

I miss to write down for myself but I know I have to slow down to write for myself for a while. I may slow down anything else for a while to focus to what I am going to succeed, because I know the above activities will be very important to allow my research group and my faculty to contribute more . . . .

Photography is about seeing something with different eye. Some pose of participants when learning about methods to find solution in a meeting. Then I will not slow down photography.

Stop Press: Felice Eid Fitri

2010-09-09T18:20:00.010+08:00

When I was a junior high school student, my late mother asked me to buy margarine in a small store in my city. It was a day before Eidil Fitri and as usual I was so busy to cook special food for Eidil Fitri, and to bake cookies, cake, etc. Since I was a fifth grade elementary school, I had my own "cookies" business, where I baked, packed, and sold cookies. On that day, we needed margarine. At the same time I entered the store (toko), an old man entered the store. He used old, tore t-shirt. He bought a 250 gram of sugar, a pack of tea, and a pack of biscuit wherein at the same time there were so many in my house sent by my father`s colleagues and connections, although we had already distributed some.

After reaching home, I was not able to stop crying, remembering how very simple the old man life was. While at home we were preparing many kinds of food, cakes, cookies for us and guests, that old man bought ONLY a 250 gram of sugar, a pack of tea, a pack of biscuit, and dressed "compang-camping". My mother asked me and I told her my story and feelings while crying. What did my mother say?
"Ika, My Dear. I know you are very kind hearted child. Please remember, Ika, we are not wrong to have this life because we also try to share it with others. BUT . . . since you now understand what you have, you must promise that you will return what you have, the facilities you enjoy, by doing best things you believe to help and contribute to people and humankind. If you remember the old man you met this afternoon by studying hard and believe that someday you can help people like him, that is enough and good. So, please do not cry My Dear. I can feel it."

That night I was not able to join torch festival because I was crying and crying. It was more . . . than 25 years ago. Today, it is one day before Eid Fitri 1431. The same evening as well. But I have grown up. My mother is not here anymore. My brother is away in Turin, Italy for Erasmus Mundus Program. My youngest brother is with his family. Mas Rahman, Neta, and Fesa are away in Tokyo, Japan. I am here to accompany my father and my (step) mother to end Ramadhan.

Time flies. World constraints. But I hope . . . I will still have opportunity to meet Ramadhan next year. I still hope that I can do more for people and humankind, though it will be a tiny contribution. Felice Eid Fitri! Minal aidin wal faizin. This evening, I am sending my Al Fatihah to my late mother, who educated me with her love during her life. May Allah Swt. grant her best things here after.

Delayed Records: World Shrinkages, Time Flies

2010-09-01T16:26:00.010+08:00

It has been soooooooooooo long not to write a journal in this page. There have been many things and events happened after Kuantan. There have been a lot of stories I have not written yet before my journey to Kuantan. From now on, I am trying again my best to record my journals since there have been being a lot of beautiful stories that is worthly recorded. I just finished my duties in Houston, Texas continued to Boston, Massachusetts and followed by some research works in Kyoto again.

Banjaran Titiwangsa, the back bone of neighboring country, from a distance, by a shutter.

Why are you so moving, Musashi? Indeed I sometimes feel tired. But do you know something? For example what I was doing in Kyoto is finding protocols for radio-active labelling to be applied in one institution in Jakarta to support my research. "We usually use labelling with a short half-life radionuclide, Doctor. So it is rather difficult to change with the radionuclide you need for your experiment," they said. I asked them, "But can you provide us the radionuclide we need?" They answered, "We can, Doctor. Only that we need you to develop your own protocol."

Ok, then it was time to consult and confirm the protocol to change "daily business as usual". That is the reason how I flew to Kyoto. Many other reasons brought me to travel around this constraint world. "I will tell and teach you our secret formulas, but you yourself should learn from us first. Not other persons," that what my guru in Kyoto always told me.

Visit To Kuantan: You Need A Silence

2010-06-28T07:26:00.004+08:00

He, the musketeer, did not reply to my messaage but I found him standing at the lobby and smiled to us (I got down stair together with another musketeer coincidentally from the same lift). He told me he had just arrived. "So, how are you?" he asked me. I told him I am fine. Then we went for a dinner with another musketeer`s car. "Ika you sit in front," the musketeer told me, but a funny musketeer said, "Osama you should have sit in front and let Auntie Ika sit here with us." Hi. Hi. That is always the saxophonist who wants to be d`Artagnan other than Athos, Porthos, and Aramis :-) The dinner was fine but I preferrred silence if I could choose.

After dinner, I enjoyed the silence of the night, the light, the whisper of the night, the wind, the night whisper, the touch of the night, in a silent Kuantan from my hotel room. It was a silent beautiful night in my life . . . .

Visit To Kuantan: The Shadow of The Smile

2010-06-17T07:25:00.003+08:00

"Let us go to my car first," he said. Then we went to his car. He asked me to bring the saxophone, while he brought his own luggage. "Now, guess what song is this?" he said and I was always able to guess it. Menghitung Hari, The Shadow of Your Smile, Whiter Shade of Pale, Jeritan Batinku of P. Ramlee, and other songs. I always like Dava Koz`s The Shadow of Your Smile. I should have brought my violin . . . . And I missed my violin.

Then we finished with the concert and prepared ourselves for dinner. "See you in the dinner, Ika," he said. Usually I do not like party. Too many people. I like to stay in silence. In a mountain. Talking only with one person or two. However, I knew I must go. I texted another musketeer, "I heard from the other two musketeers that you will join Kuantan program."

Visit To Kuantan: I Wanna Go Dinner Only With Her

2010-06-16T22:21:00.008+08:00

After the talcum powder coversation, they were talking about the plan for that night. "So, Ika, we invite you for a dinner. Ok?" Uncle Sam told me. Before answering his offer, a musketeer told Uncle Sam, "So I do not have to go." "No. You are invited," said Uncle Sam. "No, Sam. Give us free time lah. I nak pergi dinner berdua sahaja with Ika," he said. "No, you can not. Ika will have dinner with us, and you too," Uncle Sam told us. I just smiled and finally we agreed to have dinner in a party.

Then Uncle Sam left us. We went to pharmacy and to Starbucks to have some coffee and enjoyable conversation. Laughing. Sharing ideas. He asked me many times to have sabbatical leave in Kuantan and many times I said no. "I have a promise to myself, to realize something for my university," I told him. "But do not say no, ok? You can realize it from here, Ika. You must consider it," he said. Looking up to our conversation, I understand very well that he always wants the best for me, takes care of me. He never wants to let me down or get hurt. That is always the first musketeer towards me.

Visit To Kuantan: Talcum Powder For The Egg of Your Husband

2010-06-16T20:54:00.008+08:00

I came back to my hotel room with the stones from Ms. Polin. Just after I entered my room, a telephone calls came. Unfortunately, it was cut before I reached the phone. To my mind, there were two possibilities: Uncle Sam or another musketeer from BP. Just following my bliss, I called front officer, "Did he already check in?" To my surprise, the front officer told me, "He is with us now. Would you like to talk to him?". Then bla bla bla bla and we decided to meet. And as usual, our meeting was always cheerful. I saw there was wound on his legs.

"What happened? If that has been almost two weeks, you must be curious on that. I do not want something happened to you like this," I told him while checking the wound. "Ika, aduuuh. It will pulse more. First, because of the pain. Second, because of you," he said. I smiled. He is always like that. Then I checked what he did so far to cure the wound. "No, no. You can not just put hydrogen peroxide. I will put betadine again and find drugs to help this cured," I said. I also asked him to go to pharmacy with me to find drugs to cure his wound.

Then we heard big voice in telephone came along the way to us, and it was Uncle Sam, another musketeer. Uncle Sam also talked about the wound and the conversation came into the broadcasting program, a radio quizz.

"What is the common name of sodium chloride?" asked the broadcaster. "Give me hint laaaaa," a Chinese lady talked in the telephone on the radio. "Ok, what do you usually put in the morning on the egg of your husband?" the radio broadcaster gave the lady a hint. The answer should have been "salt", but to our surprise, the lady answered . . . "Talcum powder." And I did not understand what did that mean, until one of the musketeer explained me. "You are a nice and good girl, Ika, not to understand that," a musketeer told me. Hi. Hi. That was very funny quizz in a very hot sunny day in Kuantan. What is that? Secret!

Visit To Kuantan: Love Stones and A Nice Girl at Polin

2010-06-16T09:00:00.009+08:00

Indeed, to me stones are always amazing. Wherever I go, I will try to find gem stones, to learn on their accumulation process of nature. The most favorite stone of mine is always blue sapphire, but ruby, rose quartz, amethyst, garnet, hematite, tormaline, and other stones are having special attention from me. Learning about stones is the same as learning about node in life.

"Hai, please tell me if you need my help," a young girl greeted me inside the shop. Her Malay-English is quite good. She showed me the story of each accessories we found inside the shop, as well as the history of each stones they use to create accessories. "Oh, for this one? We got it from Brazil," she said. She also spoke Chinese well. And . . . finally I found that she is from a rural part of my country, in East Java. With her sincere face, she told me more about the shop. Then . . . I found we had been in a long interesting conversation.

"Yes, you are great. I hope someday I can find your own shop in Indonesia," I told her. I told the owner of the shop, Ms. Polin, that I am glad to meet her maid. Ms. Polin told me, "She has been with us for eight years and she is very nice." Yes, I am proud of her. I supposed our parlianment members talk to her about her life in Malaysia. They, the parlianment members, used our money to pretend they care of them, TKW (tenaga kerja wanita). In reality . . . they even never solve economics problems, harrassment, and humiliation of our devisa heros. I am glad she was in a good hand of Ms. Polin. Then I said goodbye to Ms. Polin and her after completing my bills.

Visit To Kuantan: Love Stones and Life

2010-06-16T06:48:00.020+08:00

Although I just went to bed close to dawn, but early in the morning I went to the gymnasium at the hotel as my routine ritual after drinking at least 500mL water. It was a small gymnasium but it was enough for me to train my muscle. Indeed, our body is very smart! The body can feel and tell us what they need. I finished morning ritual at about 09.00 and stayed at my room to finish some works.

The alarm in my stomach rang the bell to have lunch exactly at 12.00, so I was not able to stay the whole day at my room. I decided to go to Berjaya Mall for a lunch. I really did not like shopping but . . . I found many stone shops inside the mall!

Stones are my favorite. I am always amazed on how nature processes minerals to be beautiful stones with different colors, brightness, and hardness. I realized that the process is the combination of time and pressure. Just like life! Time and pressure. Like Tag Heuer`s slogan: Do not crack under pressure, so does life. When we do not crack under pressure, for sure we will be a bright (fully bright) and beautiful sparkling stone, with densed molecules inside. I decided to enter "Polin Enterprise", a stone shop. I will tell you later on this journey . . . . Watch out!

Post-script: I will not put pictures for the memory of Kuantan. Sometimes you do not need pictures for a beautiful journey in life. Even sometimes you do not need words for that. Only memory inside.

Visit To Kuantan: Sax of The Day . . . .

2010-06-14T08:14:00.007+08:00

Before continuing stories from other journeys, I want to start about Kuantan, Pahang. I flew from Jakarta in the morning. The day before, I was presenting a proposed grant in the ministry. I arrived Kuantan safely, at around 18.45 on May 26, 2010. Cik Buchori picked me up and drove me to MS Garden. "Here you arrive. Have good days in Kuantan," he said.

I completed the check in procedure, then got room #806. A text came into my cell phone, asked me to prepare myself for a dinner. It was from a musketeer, who accompanied by his son. Then we had a dinner in "Mail Ikan Bakar". I thought it was mail (post) . . . but finally I knew it was Mail from Ismail :-) We ate while having sauna, because it was very very hot day. Then there was a conversation on the phone between a musketeer and another musketeer, "Guess who is with me now?"

Then I found the two musketeers were laughing in the phones. "So, Ika, this is Kuantan. I hope you enjoy your stay here," a musketeer said. Definitely, I started to enjoy Kuantan. That night, so many messages came into my cell phones . . . . "Doctor, we are waiting for your files." Aha, I did not sleep well that night, wrapping up the works until close to dawn, sending the files I prepared during the transit and in the aeroplane to be sent to Yogyakarta. I was looking forward to listen to a sax on the next day . . . .

This is the first report of Kuantan, from an ordinary lady who happened to be lucky enough to learn extraordinary secrets.

Notes of The Day: Your Silence Is Disturbing Me . . . .

2010-06-14T07:16:00.013+08:00

Indeed, in life, we need moments to reflect, envision, and move forward . . . . I have been silencing myself for a reason. A friend from a very far part of the world sent me a message in a facebook: "Ika, your silence is disturbing me." I was touched by his text.

Indeed, the saddest part of life lies not in the act of dying, but in failing to truly live while we are alive. Too many of us play small with our lives, never letting the fullness of our humanity see the light of the day.

In that point, I always remember one of my great gurus of life everytime he meets me and gives me his big hugs, "Hai, my little girl. I miss you, so glad to see you again." He usually sings a song for me and plays songs for me when we meet. He is the one who introduced me to more more more unlimited possibilities; widening myself. He drove me to a certain place where I found special moments to learn.

Somewhere, someday. The shadow of your smile of Dave Koz was played. Life sent you events, people, to perfectly answer the quote of life.

Indeed, so many things happened. Good times. Bad times. Many good news for the last couple days. For example, my assistants succeeded the scholarships; the opening of bioceramics mini factory; bright future of clinical research; good news for commercialization of my patents; good news from my beloved family; good news from Netherlands; good news from Houston; good news from Boston; good news from Ishikawa; good news of ABC-2010.

Also great news from Kyoto, "Ika . . . I sent it to you." When I received it, my colleague told me and winked to me, "Aha! Kyoto again, Kyoto again." Also a call from Kyoto again, "Will that make you happy, Ika? If yes, I will surely do that." Still . . . I want to keep silent for a while, but hope I will be fine soon. Flap your wings, Ika!

Post-script: I am sure I had good times because of the praying of people who love me.

Kuantan Notes: The Light of Wisdom

2010-06-01T03:01:00.003+08:00

Indeed, I really would like to write my days in Kuantan as I had wonderful times with colleagues there. However, it seems that I am still feeling lost and empty. When I entered my house just after my arrival back, my father hugged me and I cried. I told him, "Ayah . . . I feel lost and empty.I do not know why . . . ." "Ika, you need time like this. You will understand how tiny you are and how important people are in your life. Each of them," he said.

I had mixed feelings that day. Now, I am trying hard to restore my heart, continue my works, and find that it is good to work together with my brothers for the last three days in the university, coincidentally.

I know . . . only when I empty the cup, I will see the light of wisdom. By that . . . I will never loose and will only gain from live. I remembered what a musketeer told me in Kuantan, "So Ika, this is the first time for you to see three of us in one package, right?" That was a nice part of my journey that I would like to write, soon after my recovery, from everything.

Stop Press: Good Bye, Ibu Ainun

2010-05-26T00:28:00.005+08:00

A picture taken from Kompas Newspaper.

Today . . . in Kalibata, Ibu Hasri Ainun Habibie is rest in peace. She was a lovely and an inspiring first lady. All of us love her. Selamat jalan Ibu . . . .

Post-script: I am sending my praying for Ibu Ainun from Kuantan, Pahang, Malaysia. A place not far from Temerloh where there is a story about a naughty boy who was bite by a snake.

Notes of The Day: My Canvas

2010-05-18T07:44:00.004+08:00

Sakura in front of Fuji Television Studio this spring, from my shutter.

Today is my schedule to deliver guest lecture in the engineering campus. Gea, my colleague, agreed to move it since I will be away these following days. My lecture will be on the hard tissue regeneration: what we think, what we have been doing so far, and our efforts to fabricate tissue engineered products for Indonesian market.

I see myself as an artist of sorts. And each day I think I am fortunate enough to be able to express my highest creativity on a canvas that others call work. Have a wonderful day ahead!

Stop Press: The Stage of Life, Priceless Culture

2010-05-18T05:04:00.003+08:00

Beside enjoying the stage and the performance, I was about to cry. The entrance ticket to watch the performance was only 3.000 Rupiah (1 USD is equivalent to 10.000 Rupiah). Meanwhile, the entrance ticket to watch a movie nowadays is about 25.000 Rupiah.

HTM is harga tanda masuk, an entrance ticket.

With very cheap ticket, still less people want to go and watch the performance. I am glad I used to take my angels to watch traditional performance and they like it, and I will keep them love their culture wherever they are now . . . .

This is the end of the interruption notes on my adventure in Solo. I will continue with my journal. Stay tune!

Stop Press: The Stage of Life, Abiyasa Moksa

2010-05-18T04:13:00.008+08:00

Destaratra, the father of Korawa and his wife Dewi Gandari after the war.

Bima, the symbol of honesty after the war.

Arjuna and Petruk (one of Ponakawan) after the dead of Abimanyu or Angkawijaya.

Then the stage began. Wayang Orang is a kind of dancing and drama on Mahabharata. It is called "wayang" because it uses the story from "puppet show" (wayang or bayang). Meanwhile, because it is played by people, so it is "orang" (person).

The Ponakawan dialogue, always funny but very philosophical.

The stage of the Ponakawan, Semar and his three sons.

That night they took the story after Bharatayudha when Parikesit (the son of Abimanyu or Angkawijaya) was born. After the war and after the birth of Parikesit, Abiyasa (Viyasa) thought that his duties in the world was over so it was time for him to come back to Nirvana (moksa). A story is just a story but I always like the philosophy of Mahabharata.

Stop Press: The Stage of Life And Sri Wedari

2010-05-17T01:23:00.010+08:00

Jogja was sunny when a colleague picked me up to go to Solo for a workshop. I call him Romo, means father in Javanese. He is a very senior professor in my university. "Where is Ibu, Romo?" I asked. "She will go later in the evening."

I was aksing him as the group leader whether I can take some pictures and talk to them. He said I can.

He made up his face for the stage. I understand they got low income salary to preserve culture. I was about to cry seeing them and their children. How very dedicated they are.

"I like to do it," he said, accompanied by his son. Limited facilities for them.

Then, the workshop was started. The university would like to publish some modules related to learning system. I had to prepare some modules in learning during the workshop. I had very severe stomachache but I did not tell anybody else, just to feel the pain and continue my works. The pain in my stomach was getting worst so I was not able to open my eyes. I just ran away to my room once and took medicine again to release the pain. I was lucky that finally I was able to present the results of my works.

At that time, he was talking to another stage performer, preparing their dialogue. They were very serious and dedicated. I thought how rich is Javanese culture but we never realize it.

It was the story after Bharatayudha. Abhiyasa Moksa. I like the story of Mahabharata since I was a child. Up to now I like to listen to a puppet show from the radio, all night long. I thank them for preserving the culture.

At night, after dinner, it was time to be relax, but still with my stomachache. I did not want to enjoy shopping mall because I did not like shopping. So I decided to watch "Wayang Orang" in Sri Wedari Complex. And as usual, I like to explore the story behind the scene.

Post-script: I will come back again to Solo with my lovely DLSR and take their pictures.

Stop Press: The Stage of Life, Let People Enter And Leave Your Life By Their Own Reasons

2010-05-16T23:34:00.012+08:00

It has been a week after my arrival back from Tokyo. For a week it has been being my lesson. It was sad but I know many people need me. It was sometimes full of joy but then I remembered that I felt lonely. Thanks that I have many people live in my life. Mas Taufik called and asked me, "When will you visit us in Jakarta? I need to talk to you related to some matters. You will like my ideas, Ika. As well as Rahman. Just give me the schedule and I will arrange your ticket."

I know he is now preparing a television station, "Tivi Buku", a television on everything related to books. He wants me to be the director of the "Tivi Buku" and he wants Mas Rahman to be the director of "Tivi Bahari" (everything about marine). "I do not want to be a television director," I told him. "So, you will be the owner, Ika. You will take care of it for me and I will fully prepare it for you," he said. "I do not want to take care of it or have it, Mas. I want to be a good academician," I replied. "So, you do not need to do anything but the tivi is for you," he said. Hi. Hi. He is funny. He pioneered some local televisions. All is started with B-letter: Tivi Bangka, Tivi Borneo, Tivi Buku, Tivi Bahari. A guru told me, "Nanti you told Mas Taufik to arrange Tivi Batu Pahat for me." Hi. Hi.

A part of Gunungan, in Javanese puppet show, symbolizes the world and everything related to human life. I will tell you later where I took this picture.

Sometimes he asked my account number. He told me, "I want to send some amount of money for you." When I asked why, he never gave reasons, "Just want to share what I have with you." Then he usually told me that he just sold a painting. "Big money, Ika. I myself did not believe it," he said. I sometimes told him, "I do not receive money laundering. Hi. Hi." I never send him my account number while he keeps asking.

Many times I told Mas Rahman about it and Mas Rahman told me, "Just send a message to him: This is my account number. And this is Rahman`s account number. He is willing to receive your money. Hi. Hi. So he will send the money to you and me." I do not know but I can feel that he loves me so much. "You always remind me to Atika, my late sister, Ika," he said one day.

They were playing Abhiyasa Moksa. I will also tell you later on this picture that I took last night in Sri Wedari, Solo. So sorry I was not bringing my DSLR because I was there by accident.

I found him when I was a junior high school student and he was a chemical engineering student in the university. He taught me many things. As I told people, "Except my parent, he is a person who contributes a lot to my growing-up process." He spent his time in Iran-Iraq war for peace campaign. He walked across India, Nepal, and neighbouring countries alone to learn wisdom. He went to Japan, Vietnam, Cambodia to meet Zen gurus. "I still remember, Ika. It was very frightening day in the border of Iran and Iraq. Bombs were everywhere. I fell a sleep for just a few seconds and I found only you and my mother in my dream and in my mind. Since then, I realized you are more than a part of my life."

My father, my late mother, Mas Rahman, Neta, and Fesa also found him a good person, a family friend. When I took my guru from a neighbouring country to visit a street in Jakarta where he "owned" the steet along the way for his gallery, publishing office, policy research institute, restaurant, library, and a house to rest and showed him Mas Taufik`s picture, my guru told me, "I can feel he is a unique and very interesting person, Ika. I can feel it."

Do you know, My Dear Ika? We never expect people entering our life. But then when people enter our life, just open up your mind, your heart, and give them the best love you can give. Do not expect anything. What about if they decide to leave your life? Just the same! Open up your mind. Open up your heart. You are free to cry because you are a spiritual being who has an experience as a human being. You are free to cry, My Dear Ika, but do not analyze. And still give them the best love you can give.

Open your heart anytime for them, because people are free to enter or leave your life by their own reasons. You just have to understand and let it flow and enjoy the rhythm along the way . . . . Just follow the rhythm, Ika. If life brings them back into your life: just prepare your best love. As well as when life takes them from your life: still prepare your best love. That is the meaning of cultivation, My Dear Ika.

Post-script: After this, I would like to tell you a stop press story on Wayang Orang Sri Wedari.

Journaling Nihonbashi: When Tradition Meets Modernity

2010-05-14T03:50:00.008+08:00

Good morning, World! I woke up early in the morning as usual, around 02.00 am and just started to prepare a lecture. It is good to wake up early because if a day I can wake up an hour earlier, I will have extra 7 hours a week, extra 30 hours a month, and extra 365 a year! However, mixed feelings still bother me these days . . . .

A suspense in photography. I wanted to shoot an object, but then a young Japanese entered my camera frame: A young modern Japanese in a traditional market.

I really want to continue my journal, but I do not know why I got no ideas to start writing. Then I remember about a quotation from a friend who is living in Bangalore. The philosophy of a picture. So, I just want to post a picture I took which is difficult to explain but easy to understand about the meeting point of tradition and modernity.

I promise myself I will continue my days to make the world a better place to stay and to record my journey to allow others to learn from the records.

Post-script:
Keep walking, Ika. Stay alert on life. You will find cross-sections along the way. You might get sad. You might get hurt. You might be happy, right on the cross-sections. But thereactually, also right on the cross-sections, life begins . . . .

Journaling Nihonbashi: Peaceful Place For Peaceful Birds

2010-05-13T10:14:00.008+08:00

A lovely pigeon on Nihonbashi.

Chuo-dori or Chuo Street is the starting point of the five highways in Japan.

The pillars of Nihonbashi. The sparkling of water. I wanna be a sparkling rainy girl who dances on the stars.

This is Nihonbashi. And old district in Tokyo. Japan has been being my second homeland.

Traffic sign on Nihonbashi, from Marunouchi.

Nihonbashi was once a thriving merchant district during Edo Period. This is the starting point of "The Five Highways in Japan". It is also the symbol of Japanese economy such as the location of Japan`s Stock Exchange and the Bank of Japan. On that day, it was a peaceful place for Tokyo`s pigeons.

Journaling Nihonbashi: A Hiding Pigeon

2010-05-13T08:51:00.010+08:00

When I was a child, in the beginning of elementary school, my mother had been always reminded me and my brothers to write a journal for my daily life. I thank her very much, and missed her very much . . . . Especially, in this broken down feeling, I miss her so badly.

A pigeon flew above Nihonbashi. A shutter worked by my eyes.

Writing in a journal, she said, is a remarkably strong way to become a clearer thinker. I understand finally that writing journal is also a remarkably strong way to build massive amounts of self-awareness. It is great to note my insights, feelings, hopes, dreams after all.

A pigeon was hiding on Nihonbashi. This is the zero point for five highways in Japan.

So, Ika Dear, I know you feel sad, lonely, and empty . . . but please note your days. Because if life is worth living, it is also worth recording. Ok, Musashi . . . . I will write my journal on Nihonbashi about a hiding pigeon. Stay tune!

Hiding, and hiding, and . . . I did not want to hide anymore. Pigeon on Nihonbashi by my shutter.

Post-script:
I still do not understand my situation at all. Broken down into pieces. Crying. Missing a big big hug. However, I know Musashi always believes that every cloud has silver lining. Be a compassionate samurai like him, Ika.

Notes of The Day: You Truly Can Realize Your Original Genius

2010-05-12T07:26:00.009+08:00

"If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets as Michelangelo painted or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say: Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well"

(Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.)

A flower by the sun. The flower and the fly that enjoying the flower on a beach that I shot on one sunny day. Photography is a combination of passion, technique, and patience. Be a great life photographer as well, Ika.

No matter what I am feeling now, this is what I am going to do: Becoming a great one that I can be in my lifetime. A great person. A great lady. A great mom. A great wife. A great friend. A great educator. A great researcher. A great academician. A great lover. So that many more and more and more people will cry when I die.

This is a note from an ordinary lady who happened to get lucky enough to learn extraordinary secrets and who wants to learn more other ordinary secrets towards quest of wisdom.

Song of The Day: Final Fantasy, It Might Be You

2010-05-10T23:59:00.004+08:00

No words. Silence. Being broken down. Getting off track. I want to be rebuilt better.

Notes of The Day: The Evolution, Getting Off Track

2010-05-10T19:36:00.021+08:00

I just want to help myself feeling better in a lost and empty feeling.

Evolution 1. Time goes so fast. It has been almost 17 years since my graduation. I can not lend my mother's shoulder anymore to cry off. Alfatihah for her.

Evolution 2: "If I had known you that year, I must have been marry you. I am late to know you," someone told me when I showed him my picture.

Evolution 3: "Do you know, Ika. I still remember when you left me that night just because a child from another town was waiting for you in your clinic," Tabata told me. I might let a child side inside me, then.

It is around 19.00 and my students just left the room after a discussion. We were having a progress report by groups because I have 28 students to be supervised for their thesis. The new group entered our research group and again it was time for me to deliver lectures on: research spirit, the importance of log book against misconduct and fallacy, and learning how to learn for research.

Evolution 4: It is rare to have me inside a picture.

I know each steps would be important for them. In average, a lecturer usually has 2-3 students per year. This year . . . I have 28! I never realized it. All of them wanted to start the experiment with me as a supervisor. I am glad to have the opportunity but this is tough "amanah" as well. I told them that I need to train them the fundamental way to do research properly during the process.

Evolution 5: By people who allow themselves to be always beside you and never let you down, be tough, Ika. Move forward.

Now, I am alone in the fifth floor, even in the faculty building, finishing my works. Alone, lonely, but I know I must complete the missions. If you want to know what I am feeling, this is the answer: Sometimes we need to get off track before we can develop the clarity to be on track. Then, Ika Dear, life had to break you down so you could be rebuilt better. So fasten your seat belt, Ika, because we are going for a quite ride! Do not cry! Enjoy the rythm and the jazz of what is going on.

Notes of The Day: Doctor Ika, We Miss You Badly

2010-05-10T13:34:00.014+08:00

Today I came back to my university and it has been being a wonderful touching day. Everybody I met sent their warm greetings to me, hugged me tightly, even some cried to see me again. "Doctor Ika, we miss you very much," some students ran to me and greeted me. A musketeer from a neighbouring country told me once, "Ika, After following your days with your students, I really like the way you relate with your students. It is so warm and natural."

A ruin church in Berlin. I was lucky to have an accidental pose because usually I like to picture, not to be in the picture.

I think, rather than they learn from me, indeed I learn many things from them. Ibu Lipur, my secretary cried. Tears in her face. Retno, my student and colleague, hugged me tight and we cried. Really I missed them. The faculty managers that I met told me, "You are the one we are waiting for. So happy to see you again!" Pak Yon who took a PhD course under my supervision told me, "It seems so years we have been waiting for you. It is wonderful to see you again." He was actually my teacher during undergraduate student but now he would like to research DDS-related technology, so he wants me to supervise him.

Haamid, my student who was living in Malaysia with his parent when he was young, messaged me, "Puan Ika, welcome back. We are waiting for your great movement as usual to change this institution. We are waiting for the D-day." I sent him a reply: "No need great action, Haamid. We only have to work and influence people like a superstar regardless our position." He sent me back a message, "Sepakaaaaaaat, Puan!"

Two flowers in a bus stop in Akihabara that I took by my DSLR. Two flowers met.

I sometimes reflect on the fact that we generally take the people we love the most for granted. Until we lose them . . . . Then we make long, silent walks, and pray for a second chance to treat them the way they deserved to have been treated.

This is a report from an ordinary lady who happened to get lucky enough to learn extraordinary secrets, who is now feeling lost and empty on a touching wonderful day. This is Yogyakarta. Raining so hard because rain drops know I love them.

Notes of The Day: Extraordinary Secrets of Life

2010-05-10T07:32:00.004+08:00

A pink sakura flower in front of Akihabara. On that day, nobody took care of the flower. They were all busy. I might be the only person took its picture. A flower at a bus stop in Akihabara that I shot.

Still speechless but I must prepare the lecture for this week. Wondering myself but yet finding: I am just an ordinary lady who happened to get lucky enough to learn extraordinary secrets.

Notes of The Day: Quest of Life

2010-05-09T00:27:00.017+08:00

I have too many things in my mind today, since it is important for my life, but I am not able to write anything. I only can write this notes:

A flower in front of Yodobashi Akihabara. When other people shopped, I preferred to observe them and took pictures.

The whole reason we are alive, I believe, is to grow into our greatest selves and remember the truth about who we fundamentally are. Life will support us perfectly in this quest. We will be sent people, events, and trials that will invite us to reveal more of our brilliance and discover more of our possibilities.

I am in my transit from Narita to Jogjakarta, at the Concorde Inn, KLIA, Sepang #729. I must learn more in my life . . . to betterly accomplish the missions in my life. I thank to people who surround me with their loves, cares, and who always forgive me if I make mistakes. By them and only by their loves and lessons they give, . . . I learned, have been learning, and will keep learning.

Intermezo: Automatic

2010-04-30T08:02:00.004+08:00

I do not have time yet to upload new stories although many in my records and in my pictures archieve. I send you a song. The original one is sung by a wonderful Japanese female singer, Utada Hikaru. Now it is sung by my favorite singer, Hirai Ken. Soon I will leave Japan for Indonesia. However, I feel that Japan has been being my second hometown. I spent my days in Japan for the last 12 years . . . . Coming, staying, leaving, coming, staying, leaving, . . . .

Many good and bad things to learn here. To enrich my life. I will miss Japan when I am in Indonesia, and will miss Indonesia when I am in Japan.

Jimbochou: Remembering Magliabecchi

2010-04-22T17:21:00.005+08:00

Remembering about Jimbochou, I remembered my article in this blog published almost two years ago (on July 19, 2008). My article was about my visit to Bibliotheca Nationale de Firenze, in Florence, Italy, during my ten days going around Italy alone.

The story was about Antonio Magliabechi, a great book collector, who never felt tired to find books and read books. In Latin or Greek, we can translate his name into Antonius Magliabbechius. Then, if we make anagram for his Latin name, we will find out: Is unus bibliotheca magna. What does it mean? "Is unus bibliotheca magna" means "A big library is inside me". So Musashi, when will you visit again Italy and going around city to cities alone like before? Sure, I will visit it again and again. Next time with you, My Dear!

Jimbochou: If You Wanna Learn Civilization, Go To The Second Hand Book Store

2010-04-22T16:17:00.015+08:00

As I wrote in my book entitled "Tuntutlah Ilmu Sampai ke Nippon", I really like to explore used book stores. When we go to new and established book stores like Maruzen, Borders, Kinokuniya, ABC, Times, or whatever . . . we can easily find the mainstream of the community. However, when we would like to know the civilization, the place is inside used (second hand) book stores! Why? By exploring used book stores I will understand what kind of books, thoughts, taughts, and wind of changes that shaped a community.

Jimbochou district, along Yasukuni Street is like a heaven for used book hunters.

When I was in Amsterdam and Italy, to my surprise, I found a very old classical books which I have tried to find loooooong time before. The books are about the history of sculpture. I was in India and exploring a book store when I finally found a documentary works of Abdul Kalam, an aerospace engineer who finally became the president of India. The book is very old, and it is not published anymore.

Yasukuni Street of Jimbochou. Do not ever miss Tokyo with its Jimbochou.

So, for a book hunter like me, Jimbochou is one of my favorite spot. I will never let myself visiting Tokyo without visiting Jimbochou. It is in a walking distance from Kanda Station by Yamanote Line. Along Yasukuni Street, I usually can spend my times hours, even a day only to explore Jimbochou book stores.

A Bohemian Guild, an answer for book hunters.

A grandpa in his heaven.

It is not Frankfurt Book Fair for sure, but enjoy to explore it.

I understand why Magliabecchi finally died among old books in the library of Firenze (Florence), where once I visited.

Just explore it! No need to ask!

I got it!

There are notes to help you. But you must master kanji characters. Okay, no worry!

Furui hon ha koko desu . . . .

Talking about used book stores, Jimbochou in Tokyo is one of my favorite district since more than ten years ago. It is easy to find the place. Just use Yamanote-Line from Tokyo Station to Kanda Station, then we can walk along the street to Jimbochou, or we can use subway to Jimbochou Station. Along Yasukuni Street, it is like a heaven for book hunters. And I will never let myself going into Tokyo without visiting Jimbochou. What did you get these days, Musashi? I got an old version of "Silva Mind Control" and an original version of Hemingway`s "The Old Man and The Sea" while enjoying "The Secret of I Tjing".

I found the book I tried to hunt . . . .

Hachiko: A Tale Of A Friendship

2010-04-22T12:14:00.013+08:00

Chuuken Hachiko, the faithful dog bronz statue in front of Shibuya Station.

So, what is the story, My Dear? The true story happened in 1924 when a professor of The University of Tokyo named Hidesaburo Ueno was alive. During the life of Professor Ueno, Hachiko always sent him out from his front door and greeted him at the end of the day at the nearby Shibuya Station. The pair, Professor Ueno and Hachiko, continued their daily routine until 1925 when Professor Ueno did not return to the station.

The bronze statue of Hachiko is sitting in front of Shibuya Station, exactly where he sat there to proove his friendship to Professor Ueno.

On that day, he got heart attack in the university and never went back to the station where Hachiko was waiting for him. Hachiko was very loyal and for the next nine years he was sitting there waiting for Professor Ueno among the town folks. Hachiko was brought to the home of Professor Ueno`s daughter but he escaped and again waited for Professor Ueno in Shibuya Station. He went to the station to look for his master where he usually accompanied him so many times before.

He has been being a witness of the changes in Hachiko crossing, Tokyo.

Each day Hachiko waited for his friend to return, but each day he never saw his friend among the commuters. This continued for nine years until Hachiko found dead in front of Shibuya Station, where he was in his loyalty waiting for his friend. Hollywood was filming the story of Hachiko with a film entitled "Hachi: A Dog`s Story" starring Richard Gere and Joan Allen released in August 2009.

His body is kept in National Science Museum in Ueno District because it was found that Hachiko was one among the remaining Akita breed dog.

For me, a story of Hachiko is a very simple but yet remarkable about how friendship should last forever. This is my report as a logic and detail person during my stay in Tokyo. My intuition, however, told me that I would cry if I see the movie . . . . And I am crying when writing the story. Ijou de gozaimasu!

The commuters usually want to take their pictures with Hachiko: Chiiiiiiiizu!

Hachiko: A Story Behind A Station

2010-04-22T11:43:00.012+08:00

A remarkable story is here . . . .

It has been my nature to understand a story behind something. Whatever it is. My senior in elementary school, Mbak Noviana, told me once. "Ika, you are actually so intuitive. But you are so logic on the other way around. So, you think something too much. That is good for works, but not good for your life." One of my guru told me, "You are a true observant, Ika. My advice is do not loose to feel the moment." A good friend told me, "You want to experiment everything, Ika. That is good for lab, but not good for yourself, your life especially." I know . . . . In some cases I have been helped by my blink, my intuition. But sometimes . . . I think too much on details.

Other entrance or exit points are using direction, location, or numbers.

Okay, whatever, I think there is good thing to be very intuitive and there is good thing to be very clear in details, in thinking. I know I must learn when to use intuition and logic properly. This is an example on how I portrait the detail of something which is good to my humble opinion because then I know something which is very wonderful.

Why it is Hachiko?

It is normal for me when finding stations. Like another station, I enjoy observe people and its surroundings in Shibuya station. I like to portrait stations around the world. There have been always stories of people and civilization by observing stations. Usually, the entrance or exit points of the stations use numbers, alphabet letters, or locations for their names. However, it is not in Shibuya, one of the bussiest parts of central Tokyo. Besides north, south, or central exit, there is "Hachiko Guchi" or "Hachiko Entrance" or "Hachiko Exit" in Shibuya station. Why? There is remarkable story behind. Let me tell you the story.

So here the story begins . . . .

Intermezo: Again, Shutter Works On Sakura

2010-04-05T13:38:00.009+08:00

Japanese pays attention a lot to a moment created by nature. It is "hanami" when all people enjoy cherry blossom. Ueno was very crowded at that moment, so as other places. Later, when Vega meets Altair, they will again gather to celebrate Tanabata night. The Milky Way, a river made by the stars that crosses the sky will allow Vega and Alstair to meet once in a year on the seventh day of the seventh month of the lunisolar calendar. This is time, to enjoy Sakura, the beginning of the spring of this year. And these are the pictures I took along the way . . . along my journey.

Intermezo: Shutter Works On Sakura

2010-04-03T06:54:00.010+08:00

Present Moment Wonderful Moment, that is Thic Nath Hanh. I took some pictures of very wonderful moment along the way to research center of AIST (Advanced Industrial Science and Technology), Tokyo.

Intermezo: Tribute To Childen

2010-04-02T10:34:00.006+08:00

I took Neta, Fesa, Vina, and Danis (Indonesians who were about to go back home) one holiday afternoon. I hope their sweet memories will bring them future spirits, because our world can only change by great, creative, visionary, and energized people.

Stop Press: Cherry Blossom Has Come!

2010-04-02T10:23:00.004+08:00

It was time after the hokekyou or spring bird visited our verranda to send a news that spring has come. This week, we found it as Sakura time. Cherry blossom is here again. I think of myself and what I really want to do for the rest of my life. "Ika, great sculptors envision their works of art before they even pick up their knives," I remember.

In line with that, things in life are created twice: First when we dream them, and then when we create or realize them. So, why do not you simply envision daily, set goals weekly, walk with giants regularly, and give graciously, Ika? Because the ultimate purpose of life is to manifest our highest talents in a way that added value to the world and make it a better place to be.

Sakura pictures that I took along the way in Academic Park from my apartment.

As Albert Schweitzer said: "At that point in your life where your talent meets the needs of the universe, that is where God wants you to be." So, do not care on what other think on "I think you are . . . .

Errata on Stop Press: To Be Indonesians Like Us . . . .

2010-03-21T15:07:00.011+08:00

It has been five years ago when "Femina", a famous woman magazine, published one of my short stories. In that story, I wrote how sad I was to be an Indonesian because it seemed we did not have something to be proud of. My short story was about love between an Indonesian lady and a foreigner. It was about cultural and psychological conflicts as the background of the story entitled "Pulang".

Neta and Fesa. They are Indonesians. They are my hopes, our country`s hopes. They did not choose to be Indonesians.

To my surprise, five years after the short story, I found that I was shocked and down by (I hope it was a joke) a sentence from a close friend when I asked something related to an idea on collaboration. He said, "It is better to work with brother and sister from Middle East." I was crying, although I knew, deep inside his heart he did not want to make me sad. However, it finally made me so sad, so inferior, and it seemed nothing I can be proud of myself and my country.

Do you know what I want to do now? I just want to continue doing good works to contribute as much as I can to humankind, to my country, and to help my patients by my research. I know we have many things remain unsolved, undiscovered, to be improved in my country. I know there are many unprofessional Indonesians and many problems we have. However, I also believe and know that there are many good people in my country who are ready to make our country proud of what they are doing.

Stop Press: Spring Bird Has Come

2010-03-21T14:44:00.006+08:00

I was in an early dinner with Neta and Fesa. They always liked my food as usual, and said, "Ibu, you are really a great cook. Thank you, Ibu." They are always wonderful for me. Sometimes, they write me a letter, put on my PC: "Thank you, Ibu, for everything. I will always support your dream." And as usual . . . I would cry. Or, sometimes they put a painting on top of a book I read, with a message: "I love you, Ibu." Since they were a tiny child, I always tell them to thank for everything. "That is the way you appreciate people. And remember, Neta and Fesa, the more you thank in your life, the more wonderful things come into your life."

Nanohana or rape blossom, close to Tokyo Academic Park, where I am living during my stay this period.

In that evening dinner, suddenly, there was a sound, "Cit . . . cit . . . ku . . . ki . . . kyuuu . . . ." We, three of us, suddenly kept silent and yelled, "Ah, hokekyou!" Yes, spring bird has come! We were so happy to hear spring bird, bush warbler, or Japanese called it: Hokekyou. Time flies so fast. I always like autumn, my favorite season, but then it has been winter to spring! I suppose, next week we will have again cherry blossom. It is time to again get beautiful flower pictures!

A Short Visit To Penang: Nasi Kandar With Fei

2010-03-09T08:36:00.006+08:00

After the discussion, Fei (who has been in our lab in Kyushu) took us to Penang Kayu Nasi Kandar. It was great time before we took Ishikawa to the airport and made myself settled in Vistana. Fei asked me, "Doctor Ika, Would you like to enjoy Penang at night with me?" I agreed, and he took me around Penang and had drinks in QEII.

When I arrived hotel, "I kena marah" one musketeer, "Pergi mana sahaja? You must be careful. You ni tak nak dengar orang tua cakap. You must make everything settled, Ika. Penang is different. Tomorrow you ask the hotel taxi, and do not use another one. Or you ask them to take you." Although "I kena marah" one musketeer, but I was so happy because that musketeer took care of me very well. I would not say what he said but it was many things. "Ya, Ika mahu turut," finally I made him happy because I followed his suggestions. In the morning, when I checked out very early, a front officer asked me, "You smell good. Can you give me the brand of your perfume?" Then I wrote a note for her. That had been many times I heard from people. So what is your perfume? Secret!

A Short Visit To Penang: She Knows Well How To Handle Me

2010-03-09T06:05:00.007+08:00

This is to continue some remaining journals of last year. I had a flight with a musketeer to K.L. before my next flight to Penang. I have already written the story with him in "Intermezo: I Punya Lebih Cantik". I arrived Penang at around 17.10 and Ishikawa had been waiting for me that time. We went to Hotel Damai, in Parit Buntar, and students of Prof. Fauzi took us there. I remember a musketeer from Serdang told me that in Parit Buntar, there are many hantu. Great. I like to meet them then!

"How are you?" Ishikawa asked me. "Great, Sensei," I replied him and also asked his situation. Then we talked many things in Japanese, because some are secrets to students who took us. We had a long time discussion during dinner and we talked also about the would be ABC-2009, just two weeks ahead from that time. I always inspired by our discussions. He is really a visionary person, smart, and spirited.

The place where I visited with Ishikawa in Penang.

A memo came to my room from a musketeer. "Ika, you must ask them to move you to Vistana tomorrow," he told me. Then I followed his suggestion. In the morning, we went to the lab and discussed many things. There was something that I still remembered during the discussion. Prof. Fauzi and Fei laughed when I did that. At that time, Ishikawa talked and talked and talked. Then I cut the discussion and said, "Yes, Sensei. I understand, but please listen to me first," that made Prof. Fauzi and Fei laughed but then Ishikawa told them, "She really knows how to handle me," with his smiles. Hi. Hi. Yes, I am always a real expert to handle you since more than nine years ago. And the discussion was very fruitful and productive.

Nagoya, The Turning Point: Resignation and A Day In Nara

2010-03-09T05:34:00.004+08:00

Finally, the closing of ABC 2009 in Nagoya. It was time to say good bye again to Ishikawa. "Ika-San, you take care of yourself. We will see each other soon. Please, send my best regards to Professor Tanihara." He is really very kind to me. "You promise me, you will continue the position and will not resign. Please, follow my suggestion," he said. I did not say anything and waved my hand for my next train to Nara.

Ise-Nakagawa, a station from where I had my transit from Nagoya to Nara.

A guru from Kyoto adviced me, "Ika-San, I am sure that your role to do now is not only for your university, but also for yourself in future. This is a great test of your own. Please seriously consider every possibility to realize your future research. You are only the person to break through it." It was very surprising advice, but the closest one to what I wanted. I was going through the color of autumn from Nagoya, passing by Ise, to head to Nara. Professor Tanihara was waiting for me in Takanohara Station. I know that many important persons in bioceramics and biopolymers are from his laboratory.

Some parts of NAIST from the window of the lab . . . .

It was great time to have discussion with him about the plan for future research and especially for the study of my lab members. It was a short visit to NAIST, but valuable one. We went from Nara to Kyoto at the same train before my way back to Nagoya then Tokyo. We talked about Tabata, Ohtsuki, Ishikawa, Kokubo, and many more, mostly on their researches and views.

He wrote me an e-mail, "Ika-San, I appreciate your efforts and what you are doing for your students. I will do everything to help your research group." I was crying to know his sincere to help our laboratory. Hopefully, Sunarso my student, can really go to his laboratory for his study. What is in my mind is the future and brighter works in my lab.

Stop Press: Hiding Myself In Tokyo (3)

2010-03-08T07:02:00.010+08:00

A building between Akiba and Ueno on my way to Akiba.

Akiba at night, by a night shutter work.

The next day, after finishing some things in UNU, Ishikawa messaged me that he was in Tokyo. Then we met and talk about some progresses and achievements. We shared some stories also. "Please, Ika-San, you can help me in my lab. You can be my associate," he said. "If I have top do it voluntarily, it is ok, Sensei. But if I have to move to Fukuoka, I will not do that. I want to develop my lab," I replied him. Nowadays, I am upgrading and correcting Ruslin`s review on a-TCP. Yes, many works to do during my hiding times in Tokyo. I must finish them, on time.

Matsuzakaya at night . . . .

Ameyoko . . . a famous part of Ueno, where I usually enjoy "Ameyoko Yaki".

Stop Press: Hiding Myself In Tokyo (2)

2010-03-08T06:31:00.007+08:00

I have been so happy to have longer time to talk with my younger brother during his stay in Odaiba. As usual, he always gave me wise advice with funny words. "Minakjinggo ki nek ora ono Dhayun, yo ora sido dadi Bupati Blambangan lo," he once said on my resignation. But then . . . he gave me his views.

"I know. Everybody knows the situation. Your fault is that you still continued to accept the position although you know exactly the situation," he said. "Do not worry. The important one is that you have decided, and you must close the story well," he said. His colleague, who also came to visit us told me a story about a meeting someday. "At that time, my head of the department came to a meeting. Your ex-boss led the meeting. Your ex-boss mentioned my head of the department name and said: Siapa ini? Tidak terkenal. Remove his name, " she told me the story. Hi. Hi. Very funny story.

A university visit to Ibaraki.

On the day when my brother flew back to Indonesia, the university president and team visited Ibaraki University. I met them and discussed some improvement programs. He said he understands my situation and supports what I chose. "Because we need you to do that in your lab . . . ," he said. It has been also a productive meeting since I met Prof. Wahyudi to talk on the development of slow release tissue engineered products.

Stop Press: Hiding Myself In Tokyo (1)

2010-03-08T05:45:00.007+08:00

It was the last days before my flight to KL and Narita. That week, it was very hectic time. I had to finish some papers, third patent draft, agenda, resignation letter, as well as to prepare term of reference for publication. Very hectic, but I was lucky because Retno Ardhani, Haamid Haikal, Sunarso, Rizky Adrian, Gumilang, and Lulu were sharing their potential with me. They are all great to my eyes. Actually, all students are pearl! With them, I can share not only about works and ideas, but also stories. This is a kind of tribute to them, since I am not able to do anything else for them except hoping and supporting for their bright futures.

Itou Campus, a new engineering campus of Kyushu University, by shutter work.

Then it was time when I had to say good bye for a while to my lab. I felt sad to leave the lab, but I was so sure that I needed this period. "If me, I will laugh," a musketeer in KL sent me a message when I shared my feelings. So . . . on that day, February 26, I was flying to KL. My short transit has been very wonderful since I had a very nice time in Putrajaya; meeting with two musketeers and having a dinner with them in an Indonesian professor`s apartment. He was the right hand of Pak Habibie, our former president. He is a naval architect and an aerospace engineer of MIT. Delicious food of paella, an internationally known Spanish rice dish, made by his step son, and . . . inspiring conversation.

Shinagawa in a rush hour, by a shutter work who has been living in-leaving Japan for the last ten years.

After the dinner, a musketeer told another musketeer, "You take care of her to the airport." The musketeer was very kind to take me to the airport. It was wonderful time as well since I was able to share my situation in the university, and to listen to his advice. "You always experiment everything, Ika. That is not always good. We must investigate, then decide," he said. "But I learned my own lesson then," I told him. "You see? You always have answer!" he said before finally told me to have a good flight to Narita.

Rainbow Bridge, the landmark of Odaiba, where my angels are living, by a shutter work.

And it was time to start my days in Tokyo . . . . The surprising thing was: On the day I arrived Tokyo was also the day when my younger brother, Muhammad Sani, visited us in Odaiba. He was on his way back from Tohoku University to a short research visit. It was long time not to see him in a relax situation. It has been always serious meeting in the university if I met both of my younger brothers.

Stop Press: May Your Spark of Life Turn Darkness Into Light

2010-02-18T04:09:00.006+08:00

For A Guru in Kyoto, Happy Birthday. I am happy because your life and achievements have been inspiring to people. May your spark of life turn fear into power and darkness into light.

お誕生日おめでとうございます。

A praying from Indonesia.

My fingers on the Buddha`s fingers . . . .

Your fingers on Buddha`s fingers . . . .

Stop Press: Why Should It Be Nano, Musashi?

2010-02-04T19:15:00.012+08:00

Again, I do not want to miss this point. So, I have to tell you the story on my long discussion with Ishikawa. He is really a smart visionary scientist. "Now they are looking for me, Ika-San, because long before they did apatite cement, I was the one who was working on that," he told me about some prominent scientists who are looking for him and want to collaborate with him. I am glad and proud to hear that. "So, what is your story tonight?" he asked me. "So many . . . ," I replied him. I told him about my works in Kyoto, my lab progress, my activities in the ministry, etc.

"Before I left for Japan this time, I was invited by Ministry of Industry. They invited Minister of National Education and also Minister of Research and Technology. We, some scientists, were invited to renew the direction of nano-industry. As I told you, last year we were involved in the development of road map for nanotechnology based industry. I am glad because one of the priority is for biomedical purposes so that the research budget will be directed to biomedical industries," I told him. "Yes, that is good Ika-San if you can propose the industrial road map towards biomedical purposes. But tell me why it should be nanoscale?" he asked me.

"I am not sure myself, Sensei. I understand that we do not have to be in nanoscale but at least I can suggest the direction for biomedical industries . . . ," I explained him. "Ika-San, please be careful. Do not just follow USA. Some years ago they proposed: We come into nano-era, this is nano era, this is nano century. For what? So every country focused on nano-technology. What happened then? The USA worked on the areas left by all the countries which focused on nano-technology. Do not follow the mainstream, Ika-San. Do not let USA or any other countries use your resources and areas only because you follow its direction towards nano-technology," he advised me.

As usual, he always observes something by different views. I am always inspired by him. I remember, someone from different university told him, "Ika-San always talks about you. She said you are like her big brother." What did he say? "I was very glad to hear that from him, Ika-San," he told me. And then I asked him, "And what did you tell him or how did you react?" He told me, "I told him like this: And why do not you try to be her lover?" Hi. Hi. I critisized him, "Please, do not say that. He must be angry . . . ." He told me, "No. He liked me to say that. I know, Ika-San. I am 100% sure that he likes what I said. I can see. No doubt!"

Hi. Hi. I always remember him as a funny guru, who always wants to make me comfortable in everything. He educates me very well. Besides, he always keeps his promises . . . . He will never ever let me down, that is what I know. His friend is as well. My tears drop again now, remembering all good people in my life.

Post-scriptum:

I am in my transit now. Remembering my angels, my guardians, my gurus, and people who always care of me wherever they are . . . . Remembering great times in my life. A friend promised me to dine out together. Up to now I do not know whether he cancels or not. No problemo, not me who asked. I will call room service by now. I have been too . . . hungry. If he comes, it is ok, I will eat one more time. If not, it is ok. Moreover, I do not want to let myself in uncertainty . . . . You shape event, Musashi! Do not ever let event shapes you!

Stop Press: Great Day in Kyushu, See You Again Kyoto

2010-01-29T23:40:00.005+08:00

I always had something to interupt my stories. Cest la vie. That is life, Musashi. Many suspenses in life. We will never understand but giving meaning to each moment. Like the day when I had to leave Kyoto. In the morning, Tabata came to my room and said, "Hai, Ika-San. This is your last day this period. Enjoy it, Ika-San." I said thank you to him. Then I started to work with Nakamura-San, to prepare PRP from rabbit blood. In the afternoon, Ohno-San, like usual, asked me, "Ika-San . . . let us go for lunch." And it was the last day to go for lunch with him and his colleagues.

Just after the lunch, Ohno-San came to me, "Ja, soro-soro, Ika-San (So, you will leave soon, Ika-San)?" I told him, "Haik. Ima kara kaeru no junbi desu (Yes. From now I am preparing to leave)." Then he told me, "Sabishiku narimasu, Ika-San (I will feel lonely and miss you)." I told him, "So, desu ne. Sabishiku narimasu." Then I prepared myself and said so long to all the lab members. I was crying. Then Tabata met me and said, "Please, do not cry, Ika-San. You will come again and I will visit you soon. We will meet somewhere. Please send my regard to Ishikawa Sensei."

On that day, I promised to visit my junior in the lab who is studying in Tokushima University and meet her professor to talk about some future plans before reaching Fukuoka. And . . . finally I arrived Fukuoka. I arrived Kyushu University, my second home. I called Ishikawa and he welcomed me in his office. I also met Valanezhad and he was also so happy to see me. "Ika-Chaaaaaaan. It is great to see you," Vala said. Vala was also like that. We talked about researches and we remembered our days with Daitou in Madras.

Ishikawa Sensei came and said, "Sorry. Could we go now, Ika-San?" and he drove me to have dinner together. I told many stories to him and shared many things. He was cheerful but he looked very tired on that day. "I am very glad to see you, Ika-San . . . ," he was with his style as usual. I told him about his colleague in Kyoto, "Sensei, your friend sent you his regard." He laughed and said, "Ha. Ha. I do not need his regard." He was very very very funny, as usual. So, I miss Kyoto very much when warm Kyushu welcomed me . . . . I will not forget each moments in Fukuoka on that day. I am sure I will cry someday if I remember my days. Each day is great day. To live is to love . . . .

Stop Press: Great Day in Kyoto

2010-01-26T23:21:00.006+08:00

I want to continue my story, but I can not wait to tell you all about my great day in Kyoto. Yesterday night, Tabata and me had discussion on the on going program and research plans. After that, he gave me something, "This is your ticket for my retirement. Not everybody gets that." I said thank you to him. "So, Ika-San, will it be okay for you tomorrow to have lunch with me?" he asked me. I said ok, and told him that Ishikawa was calling my guest room (I have been in guest house of the university called "Seifu Kaikan" #302) and sent his regard to him. He laughed and said, "Regard on what?" I told him, "Yoroshiku, Sensei." I did not know why he laughed when I told him about Ishikawa.

Then . . . today I had discussions with Kohara-San, Uesugi-San, and Inoou-San. I was not able to make a long distance call because Tabata`s room was used for television program shoot. I told Ohno-San, a second grade master student from Polymer Engineering who usually asks me to go lunch together with him and his colleagues, that I would not be able to take lunch with him. "Kyou isogashii desuka?" he asked me. "Isogashikunaide, kyou ha Tabata Sensei to yakusoku ga arimasu," I told him that I had an appointment for discussion with Tabata. It was really great to be with them all and my students would come in the institute as well. Ohno-San is a very nice person. He is like "genojin" but very polite and intelligent.

"Ika-San, let us go. Do you want French dish or Italian dish?" he asked. "Nandemo ii desu yo, Sensei," I told him. And finally we had French dish. We talked about many things. Researches occupied our discussion. Then we talked so long about children, family, and many good things. I supposed that we have closer views on researches and family life. I told him about Ishikawa`s comment on his first son, and he laughed.

We discussed more on how to modify the interaction between polymer and biomolecules as well as drugs. "I will teach you all the methods, Ika-San," he said. I told him that I have started to ask clinicians about what they need regarding scaffold-biomolecules-and cell therapy as well as bioceramics. We discussed about the project to make the activated drug for infact myocard for the patients based on bioceramics, and so on. And then we talked on the biphosphonate . . . . He told me, "That has low molecular weight, right?" I said, "Yes, Sensei. So I am worry that it will be dissolved very fast." "It means that you must modify the system to allow the system to control the release of the drugs or whatever," he said.

And he continued, "Do not worry. We will work together. I will teach you many secrets." Then he laughed. It was really a great day for us I supposed. Then we talked about the possibility to visit our colleague in BP and also in Colombo. We talked about this year plan, "I will come and visit, Ika-San. We can plan to have joint PhD supervision also. You send your students, I send my students and colleagues and visit you." He was so happy because in November 2010 we plan to have Jansen, Ishikawa, and him! We walked along the river when he said, "Please wait Ika-San. I will tell you something. But this is very secret. Ok?" Then he told me the secret. And, secret is secret.

I would not forget his kindness and the secret he told me. I continued my work and I was so happy to finish my correction for a research project of my PhD student just before we had another discussion. I had to prepare myself for tomorrow . . . . "Sensei, I am worry if I can not see you top say goodbye tomorrow because I had to go with Nakamura-San (she is a plastic surgeon) to prepare something for my experiment," I said. "Ok, Ika-San. Thank you for being here again. And we will see each other very soon, somewhere," he said. "At least I will visit you again," he told me. I promised him to contact my colleague in Colombo and Peradeniya. Tonight I ended my day in the lab by having discussion with Kawabata-San from a Sanyo Chemical. He would like to do joint research with our department also. I was so happy . . . .

I know . . . . Today was another gift in my life. He is always sincere to me. He never stops to teach me many aspects for frontier progresses in regenerative medicine. I remember the advice from Ishikawa to me, "Ika-San, You learn bioceramics from me. You learn tissue engineering and polymer from him. So you will find your space in expanded research soon, and be number one in that space." I promised myself that I will cherish that . . . .

Intermezo: I Punya Lebih Cantik!

2010-01-24T19:37:00.009+08:00

It was a day in November last year, when I was having a flight to Kuala Lumpur, then Penang. It was a great day because we just finished a successful workshop in Yogyakarta. A guru sat beside my seat when someone was coming and brought a cap. "Ini punya Bapak?" the person asked my guru. "Bukan. I punya lebih cantik," my guru said. Ha. Ha. I was laughing and was not able to stop because it was so so so funny.

David, he was not in Firenze. He was in another city last time. David by my eyes, in November 2009.

Ha. Ha. It was really the style of my guru. He is a smiling person, friendly, but can be so tough to me and others if we do not do proper things. He is the one to whom I learn about many good things, including life. He never stops to advice me, a person to whom I can share my academic and scientific problems. He gave me real example on how to be honest to ourselves.

Yes, I will always pray for him. Knowing him is a gift in my life. Knowing people is a gift in my life . . . . He opened up my eyes. "Life is to love, Ika," an advice from a friend came to me coincidentally when I remembered my guru. I sent my praying to my guru, to people important for my life, to someone who was bit by a snake and reported to me last year, to my brothers, to all people who have occupied certain places in my heart.

Nagoya, The Turning Point: You Must Be Ready To Die Anytime (Part 2)

2010-01-15T11:36:00.008+08:00

The sky is always there. The stars are always there. Ishikawa Sensei asked me some questions related to my presentation. "So do you get the DBM from the dead body, Ika-San?" he asked. "Yes, Sensei. Then I compared it with the products we have been fabricating in the lab," I said. "That is I understand. But I wonder on one result. Could you explain me how did you do demineralization for the bone?" he asked me. Then, our conversation became so scientifical. That is what I enjoyed when suddenly a phone call came to his mobile.

"I am with Ika-San. Tomorrow she will visit Tanihara Sensei in NAIST. We are about to dine," he told somebody on the phone. He told me . . . "It was AT, Ika-San. I do not know why I have to face this kind of situation with MN and AT in the lab. I want to resign to be a professor, Ika-San. I just want to do research and educate students."

"Sensei, what did you say to me when I wanted to resign from my position now? You said no. Then how come that you would let yourself to resign and did not allow me?" I asked him. "You know, Ika-San. I do not need a position. I want to be fully doing research," he said. "Then, what is the different with me?" I asked him. "No. No. It is different situation. I am depressed. You are not," he said. "No, Sensei. We are exactly in the same situation. So, we must choose what makes us happy and choose the best way to contribute," I said. "No, no, no. You can not resign," he said. "So, you also can not resign," I told him.

We ate "udon" while continuing our conversation. My colleague AT called him again. "Ika-San, please help me. What should I do to face this situation?" he asked me. "You always tell me to be ready to face any situation related to office politics, Sensei. You always tell me that I should stay focus to what I really want to achieve. So, that is also what I want to tell you," I said. "But I am depressed. In my office, in my life . . . ," he said. I told him that we must enjoy any situation. "We will understand how important to face that situation later, Sensei," I said.

"But I am dying to face this situation," he said. "We must be ready to die. Anytime, Sensei," I said. "Are you ready to die anytime, Ika-San?" he asked me. "Yes, I am ready to die anytime. We must be ready to die anytime," I answered him. "No, Ika-San. I do not want to die now. Many works. Many things to do," he said. "Yes. But you must be ready." "No. I do not want. How come you are ready to die anytime, Ika-San?"

Which one is the focus? The buildings, the boat, or the lanterns? Please get away from the crowd, Musashi.

We can put ourselves to be in the crowd but we can make ourselves to be a pioneer outside the crowd. The lanterns and life by my eyes.

"Sensei, life is not an experiment. We can not take full control to our life. Anything can happen to us. Of course, we always hope for the best. But we must be ready to face any situations. We must be ready to die even. We must be ready that our lovely husband and wife, our children, can also die anytime," I said. "How come Ika-san?" he asked. "For example, now you are lying on the bed. You can die. Our children can also leave us anytime. We plan something but we face different situations. That is life, Sensei. That is normal. Of course if I have opportunity to ask and choose, I will always hope for the best. But if I can not have my best, I have to be ready to face any hard difficult situations in my life. Moreover, I am nothing, Sensei. The universe can take my life anytime, by any reasons," I said.

The lanterns on the beach. The soul and life, by my eyes.

"Ika-San, I almost cry. You are so mature in your life," he said. "This is not about me, Sensei. This is all about how to always wonder on life, because life is full of suspenses. The way we give the meaning to event will make us enjoy any single part of our life. Believe me, Sensei. The event which makes you depressed is not something meaningless for your life. It is meaningful," I said. "Ika-San, you are not only smart. You are mature. However, it is still difficult for me to understand, Ika-San," he said. "I know, Sensei. We will never have complete understanding, Sensei. We need to learn. Many situations shape us. From now on, we must shape any situation, not the situation shapes us. So, do not get depressed. I know you can face this situation well. I know you. You teach me a lot of good things. I am also very proud of you, Sensei," I said.

That night stars were shining bright on the winter sky. I was happy to know him in my life. Maybe that was how we must know each other. To support each other between two people from different cultures, beliefs, and different life philosophy. Nine years was not long time and not short time to connect our souls.

Nagoya, The Turning Point: You Must Be Ready To Die Anytime (Part 1)

2010-01-15T10:38:00.007+08:00

Let me continue with the story about Nagoya. It was Friday, on December 11th, 2009. It was the last day of the conference. Ohtsuki Sensei asked me to deliver award for young scientist where someday in 2003 I got the same. Also, he asked me to make an introduction on the next conference that will be held in Yogyakarta. Unemura Sensei sent me a message after the conference, "Dr. Ika, I was so impressed with your passion in the area." He understood the situation in my country, by my presentation. He promised me to join the next conference in Yogyakarta.

After the conference, there was a Special Lectures for the Celebration of Japanese Ceramics Society. Professor Kokubo (a famous name on SBF) delivered very philosophical lecture which was very important for young scientists. I was about to cry to listen to his presentation. I told the audience that what Professor Kokubo faced 40 years ago was almost the same as my own situation. We were also lucky to have Professor Aoki, Professor Niwa, and Dr. Ohno who told us about how to bring research results into translational step.

A night, a bridge, with lantern configuration, by my eyes.

All the lectures were in Japanese. I asked some questions to them. Having finished the whole lectures, Ishikawa told me, "Ika-San, all the professors gave you big hands. You are very active and seems that you know exactly the direction. I am proud of you, Ika-San." I told him, "I was so lucky, Sensei, to have the lectures. This is once during ten years of ABC, right? It was very very enlightening and inspiring lectures. I was about to cry, Sensei. Those lectures were what I really need."

A floating boat with lanterns by my eyes. Life is like rowing a boat, gently down the stream.

It was really the end of the conference. I brought something important for my career to listen to Kokubo, Niwa, Aoki, and Ohno. We left Nagoya Congress Center. I walked along the road to the station with Ishikawa and Tsuru. Tsuru Sensei told me that he really want to visit my laboratory.

A boat, a bridge, and lanterns by my eyes. You only can understand the configuration from a distance. To understand life, you need to make a distance.

Yes, it has been four years since I came home to my country. We had nothing. We had no lab. And nowadays we have been developing lab, facilities, and research system and infrastructure. We are building our team. I really want to devote my life to bring my lab to be on the seventh sky! I want to teach my students how to research properly. I believe that building a strong lab does not only deal with knowledge delivery, but also with how to deliver values, dreams, visions, wisdoms, . . . . It is a full time devotion with day by day and minute by minute efforts. Nagoya is my turning point. I have my gift because first class people in the area support me. So I have to cherish it for more people. We had to say good bye to Tsuru Sensei, and I walked slowly with Ishikawa while wondering to the sky above . . . .

I Want Someone To Hijack This Airplane: Two Beautiful Cranes

2010-01-13T08:59:00.011+08:00

A world from the train window was very interesting. If you ask me about my bucket lists before I die, I really want to have a journey around the world by train. It must be very interesting to observe different worlds, different cultures, and different views from the window of the train. For sure, I will start from my country and videotape what I observe from the train.

Life is like passing a track. You can choose to pass it fast, or you can choose to enjoy the sceneries from the window of the train. I told myself from the very beginning: Be aware, My Dear Musashi!

What is another list? I want to do mountain climbing. I did it once but I want to do it more and more. Sometimes I talk with Neta and Fesa about what we will do during our life. I always tell them, "Please, be brave to try to experience life. By that way, you will understand people more. By that way, you will learn more to allow you to live full life."

I arrived Kyoto 30 minutes late from the time we planned because I was not able to find the way to another station. "Ika-Saaaaan, I have been waiting for you. So how is my friend?" another guru asked me. "He is ok, only he asked me who is the devil guy who kidnapped me to Kyoto, " I told him. He laughed and said, "Please tell him. The devil is me. So you are here now. I am happy, Ika-San. I am happy to be a devil guy!" We had a discussion, very productive. His secretary told me, "He talked about you many times so I am familiar with your name. And now I meet you."

We went to one experiment room to check something. In that room, I saw Sander. A guru told Sander when Sander was about to greet me, "Sander, your time with Ika is later when I have meeting. Not now." However, I told him, "Please, Sensei. I can not help greeting Sander now." Then . . . I got surprised because suddenly Sander told me, "Let us do Dutch way!" Hi. Hi. It made my guru got surprised. "Okay, enough. Later you can have time with Ika, but 30 minutes only," my guru told Sander.

The two cranes, the origami of peaceful lovely heart.

When he had a 30 minutes meeting with students, it was time for me to talk with Sander. I brought chocolate for him. "Hhhmm, it is very tasty chocolate, Ika. So how are you?" We talked about our experiments, about Anne, and about the development in the laboratory. "I was so sorry because I expected too much to Anne at that time," he said. I told him that the situation was part of our difficulties to run researches in Indonesia. Then . . . a student came to our room when we had a coffee time for conversation. "So, Ika, it is very nice to see you again here in Kyoto," Sander said. "If you stay longer, we can have dinner again together," he said. Yes, Sander, I learned a different way of thinking from him. Very profound learning. Simply profound. Profoundly simple.

A guru and me walked along the river to go to a garden restaurant for a dinner. It was very beautiful place to dine. "Do you know, Ika-San, when I first met you I was so impressed with you. The way you move your fingers. The way you talk. The way you act. It is just very feminine Japanese. I can not find it anymore even here." I told him, "Thank you, Sensei. That is too much for me, Sensei. " He said, "No. No. That is true." We talked about many things including the history of Nara-zake, tequilla, etc. He brought me to see the garden around the restaurant. It was really a beautiful Japanese garden. Before leaving, he gave me two tiny cranes "origami". "Please keep these with you, Ika-San," he said. It was so wonderful . . . .

It was so wonderful because that night I arrived state of receiving each other as unique entities where one to another are not comparable. A guru who was in Tokyo called me that night and asked me how was my time in Kyoto. "Your friend took care of me very nicely," I said. "Of course he will, Ika-San," he said.

I Want Someone To Hijack This Airplane: Torn Between Two Musketeers!

2010-01-10T21:47:00.011+08:00

It was still in the middle of summer season 2009 when I flew from Fukuoka to Tokyo. Actually I planned to use bullet from Fukuoka to allow me to drop off Kyoto. "No, no, Ika-San. You must fly to Tokyo," a guru said. Then I agreed but it made me have to be back to Kyoto with a bullet because another guru called me and said that he really did not want me to cancel my journey to Kyoto. "I have already reserved Miyako Hotel for you. I will be very disappointed if you cancel, Ika-San,"he called me twice even when I was still in Indonesia.

Kaihin-Tohoku Line, and JR-Yamanote Line, on one fine day . . . .

On that day . . . in August, finally a guru and I flew to Tokyo. When the plane was about to land in Tokyo, a guru said, "Do you know what I really want this time, Ika-San?" I replied, "What? Please tell me." He said with his funny expression, "I want someone to hijack this airplane!" I asked, "Why?" He said, "So I can stay longer with you." Hi. Hi. He was very funny and I laughed.

He asked me again, "Ika-San, who is the devil guy who kidnapped you so you have to go to Kyoto?" I laughed to see his face . . . . Time went so fast. Nobody hijacked our flight. Then we had to say good bye in Hamamatsuchou from Haneda. I had to continue my journey to Tokyo Station by Kaihin Railway, to get a shinkansen and my guru continued his journey with JR Yamanote Line to give a lecture. Of course, we missed each other after all.

This is not about a romantic thing for sure. This is more about caring and learning each other in this beautiful life. It was so wonderful to have people who know us well, who understand us, who never only blame us, and never cover the feelings, whatever the feelings are. Hamamatsuchou, August 28, 2009. My tears dropped inside the Kaihin Railway. I promised myself to do better in my life. I promised to cherish the knowledge I got during my days with a guru. One fine day that I portrait in my life . . . .

Nagoya, The Turning Point: Kireina Nihongo . . . .

2010-01-10T21:19:00.006+08:00

In the evening, Ishikawa Sensei went to Tokyo because he had to give lecture in Tokyo. "Ika-San, I have to go now. You take care of yourself," he said. "You too Sensei, take care," I said. " I will be back tomorrow afternoon, Ika-San. See you," he said. I asked him where he would like to stay and he said, "As usual, Onorimon." "You like to stay there, Sensei, " I commented. I knew it was because Onorimon is close to the place where he should give lecture. And I had to say good bye to him.

A night, a man, with lanterns . . . . A silent windy night on the bay by my eyes.

In the evening, I had a dinner with some "bagawan" (Guru of Guru) of Japanese Ceramics Society. Ohtsuki Sensei asked me to introduce the 10th-coming Asian BioCeramics Symposium. When I was about to start, suddenly Osaka Sensei raised his hand and said, "Ika-San . . . We will accept Japanese." Then I said, "Do not worry Sensei, I will try my best." It was why I delivered the introduction in Japanese. Yamashita Sensei of TMDU (Tokyo Medical and Dental University) told me, "Ika-San, sugoi! Kireina Nihongo. " He meant, "Ika-San, that is great. Very beautiful Japanese!"

I remembered when I was a student, the embassy and the honorary consulate usually asked me to be a translator everytime they had guests or meetings. This is secret but I was the best graduate of International Language School in Tokyo located in Shinjuku that made Ohta Sensei very proud of me at that time! Hi. Hi. No secret anymore. That day passed very fast but also slow. At the hotel, I prepared another presentation for Introduction to ABC-2010. I tried to write a letter for my resignation but I was not able to choose best words to do it. However, I was thinking a lot that night while enjoying "Chai" (tea with cinnamon, ginger, and milk), my favorite . . . .

Nagoya, The Turning Point: No, No, You Are My Girl

2010-01-02T16:35:00.011+08:00

I think I am very lucky to be surrounded by people who love me, care of me, and forgive me when I make mistakes.

A bird in autumn by my eyes, by my angle, by my camera.

Ishikawa Sensei chaired my presentation. There were some questions and comments related to what we have been doing. After the presentation, Professor Ban of Kagoshima came to me, "Hai, Ika-San. How are you? I just came today. You presented very interesting topic and very well." I said thank you to him and he told me about his journey to Bali for a conference. "I was fascinated by your country, Ika-San," he said. Professor Unemura of Yamagata sent me a message, "Dr. Ika, I was so impressed with your passion in the area, also your progresses and achievements." I was so lucky that I had opportunity to share about our lab from zero, 5 years ago after my graduation.

A bird in a cool day by my eyes.

I called Tabata, as I planned, after finishing my presentation. "Hai Ika San. Glad to hear your voice. Please, would you call him again later because he is in discussion now," Bamba-San, his secretary picked up the phone. But then I heard he said, "Ika-San? I will take." Then Tabata and me had long conversation. "How are you? It is pity that you and me are busy so we can not meet this time. I am sure your presentation is very successful." We talked about our stories by telephone.

Nagoya Congress Center on the day I presented my paper.

"I know your difficulties, Ika-San. I wish I were living in Yogya to be with you and support you. Unfortunately, I am in Kyoto and you are in Yogyakarta, so what can I say and do?" he said so. "I decided to resign, Sensei," I told him. "Ika-San, whatever your decision is, I will always support you. In the research, please remember that my network is also yours. I will always help you, Ika. Let us talk longer later in Kyoto," he said. I told Ishikawa Sensei that Tabata support whatever I decide. "Does he agree if you resign?" Ishikawa asked me. "Yes, Sensei. He agrees and will always support me," I told him.

"No, No, Ika-San. No doubt that he likes you. I am sure that no matter what you decide he will 100% support you. But this is different story. You have to follow me. You can not resign. You are my girl," Ishikawa requested me strongly. He advised me seriously, with his funny style. I know his feelings, I know what he hopes from me in my academic life. This is really a great test of my own . . . .

Nagoya, The Turning Point: Developing Country`s Challenges and Potentials

2010-01-02T12:15:00.016+08:00

"It does not matter how big your dream is.
How big you are for your dream does matter."

(Julian Balia, a teacher in a film entitled "Sang Pemimpi", sequence of "Laskar Pelangi")

After the dinner, I went back to the hotel with Ishikawa Sensei and we had long discussion in the hotel. "Did you finish to prepare your presentation, Ika-San?" he asked me. "Not yet, Sensei," I replied him cool. He got surprised and said, "Ika-San, I will be a responsible person on that. So, I have to let you alone to finish your presentation." Hi. Hi. "No problemo, Sensei. The discussion with you is also very important. Do not worry, I can fix my presentation in an hour, early in the morning," I said.

Nagoya Conference Center by my eyes.

"Since tomorrow I will chair you, do you think I need to read your paper?" he asked me. "Hi. Hi. It is up to you, Sensei. I do not think you have to because my presentation will be totally different from the paper," I told him. He laughed. In the paper, I wrote on the very scientifical consideration of Gama-CHA we produced in the lab, its valorization efforts, and the comparison both in vitro and in vivo aspects with other CHA commercially available as well as bone graft from bodies. In my presentation, I planned to talk about the challenges in regenerative medical treatment researches in my country, the potentials, and what we have been doing so far. I planned to open up bioceramics researchers towards the situation in my country, vision of bioceramic research in my lab, progresses, and achievements.

"Sensei, frankly I can not wait too long to realize my research dreams. I want to help my patients soon, my country as well by my research, while understanding some basic phenomena on regeneration aspects," I told him. "Ika-San, I understand you completely. Please, do not make everything too perfect. Let whatever will be, will be. If you can handle it, that is good. If not, you just try again," he said. Time flew so fast with him, and the day was over, gave me a new day for my presentation.

Nagoya, The Turning Point: Only If And If Only . . . .

2009-12-31T15:54:00.009+08:00

During the first day of the conference, I was thinking a lot of my research. It was really nice to discuss again with the society. It is always like shopping ideas everytime I go to a conference, so was that day.

I forgot my situations for a while . . . . However, I remembered what Professor Jansen told me, "Ika, I think that you have to feel honored that the Rector of the University is asking you for the position. If I were you, I would accept. At the same time, this provides you opportunity to negotiate about some issues. You can ask them for something in return e.g. to make it feasible that you indeed achieve something."

I think I am lucky to have them in my life. My life is always surrounded by people who love me and care of me . . . . My family, Ishikawa and Prof. Zee who are like my own brothers, Jansen who is like my own father, Tabata, my colleagues, my friends, my students . . . . Sometimes I think that I will take the path with the highest risk by having them . . . . But sometimes I have to clearly understand myself . . . . In the evening, we had a dinner for the invited speakers. Kyoto mafia and Kyushu mafia were there in the dinner.

When Ohtsuki Sensei asked me whether I would like to drink "sake" or beer or not . . . Ishikawa Sensei told them, "For Ika-San, she would love to try anything. She is a researcher." Hi. Hi. He always said that. Takadama, Kawai, Miyazaki, and Ohtsuki Sensei laughed about that. Sometimes, he told me, "No worry, Ika-San. I will take care of you if you get drunk." Be careful, Sensei! You were naughty.

Nagoya, The Turning Point: About Compromising Something

2009-12-31T07:35:00.014+08:00

Early in the morning, as I promised, I called him. "Ika-San, I will be ready soon," Ishikawa told me. We promised to discuss something related to our research before going to the venue. "Is the password I gave you in Penang working well, Sensei?" I asked him related to file sharing we have. He must laugh if he remembers the password because my password is: SECRET. "Yes, it works well. It helps me so much, Ika-San," he told me.

We discussed something . . . then we went to the venue again by train. "So Ika-San, I think you must be tough. You can not resign, Ika-San. You told me that you want to overcome some issues related to researches. This is your chance. You still can do research, I am sure, because I know you well. You have your gift, Ika-San," he told me.

"One thing that you must do is: You have to compromise to yourself. Just do what you can do. If you can do it as you hope, that is fine. If not, you can keep on trying," he adviced me related to my situation.

"Sensei, as I believe, developing a strong and recognized research group needs day-to-day, minute-by-minute intensive touches. Because I believe that it is not just knowledge transfer, but more in transferring values, ideas, and visions. I really have a dream that my lab will soon produce better regenerative treatments, Sensei," I argued him.

"I know Ika-San. I know that is your nature. But please believe me that you can do both. What you need is only to be more patient, and do what you can do as I said," he tried to advice me. "I am worry, Sensei. It will not be fair if I take both," I said.

"No. No. Ika-San. Please do not worry. I will be with you," he said. "You promise me to always support me," I said. "Ika-San, please. I am with you always. I might only forget you if I loose my mind. I hope I will not. I will always remember you and be with you. I am proud of you. Moreover, we will get older in the same speed, Ika-San. Please do not worry. You can do that, Ika-San," he looked into my eyes, and tried to make me sure about myself. Ishikawa, he does not only introduce me to the science of bioceramics and fully support me in this field. He contributes so much in my academic career, as a researcher, as an academician.

It was almost the end of the autumn season. Autumn leaves were falling everywhere. Autumn is always my favorite. The nature is colorful. The weather is cooler. The fashion is stylish with dark colors. The food is warm and delicious. I felt warmness covered me. That day, was the beginning of the conference.

Happy New Year, and Have A Wonderful 2010!

2009-12-22T10:02:00.012+08:00

これらの写真は私はとっていた写真です。いつも心踊る時私は夢を見たいな写真です。

Madras at night, from the roof of the Cricket, in 2008.

Dawn at Tong A Chin Beach, when having community services in Bangka Island, 2008.

Sunrise on the beach in Sungailiat, August 2008.

Mountain Bromo from Penanjakan area, East Jawa, 2008.

A back of Mountain Bromo, taken in a sunny day in 2008.

Happy New Year.
May 2010 be a wonderful

and very successful one for you.

去年お世話になりました。
今年も宜しくお願い致します。

イカより

Ika in 1973.

Intermezo: Let Us Bed My Chocolate!

2009-12-22T08:12:00.004+08:00

Forrest Gump said,"Stupid is as stupid does" and "Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you will get".

A chocolate seller was in action on Ameyoko, Ueno District, Tokyo.

This is still intermezo along my journey. I was in Ameyoko, Ueno District, Tokyo, continued my day with Fesa. Fesa is always critical to each words, events, and she is really a true observant that always reminds me about myself. She is a growing up kid, whom I always like to talk with. We saw a chocolate seller in Ameyoko. He offered chocolate by his own funny way.

Intermezo: Let Us Play Nintendo-DS!

2009-12-21T21:40:00.017+08:00

A cloudy Sunday morning in Akiba . . . .

The game was played, seriously . . . .

Before continuing my story about "Nagoya and the Turning Point", I would like to show you some interesting pictures in Akiba (It is now the famous short name of Akihabara), Tokyo. I was with Fesa to try to find some gadgets.

The crowd in Akiba . . . .

"What are they doing, Fesa?" I asked my youngest daughter about what was happening in the crowd in Akiba. "I do not know, Ibu. Maybe they are playing DS, Ibu," she answered me. "What is DS, Fesa?" I asked her. "That is like a play station, Ibu. I also do not know, but it has double screen," she replied me. "How do you know?" I asked her again. "Maybe," she said.

They were playing DS . . . .

"But why they must be there?" I asked Fesa again, forgetting that she is just a fourth grade elementary school. "Do they have competition, Ibu?" she asked me back. "Okay, Fesa. We take a cup of coffee and a piece of cheese cake and observe them. Agree?" I asked her. "Okay, Ibu," she said. And . . . we were observing the crowd in Akiba, trying to develop our own perspective. Fesa . . . . She is a true observant as well. She commented people as she likes.

Nobody was disturbed . . . . They were just continuing the game . . . . It is life that we play certain role, in the game . . . . Akiba on December 13, 2009.

But life is (actually) a game, a role. I remember Paramahansa Yogananda (1893-1952) who said: "Do not take life experiences too seriously. Play your part in life, but never forget it is only a role." We observe . . . . We play . . . .

Nagoya, The Turning Point: Da Vinci, Sforza, and Me

2009-12-21T07:02:00.013+08:00

We went out from the Exit #2 of Nishi-Takakura Station. "You see, Ika-San?You always read faster than me, and found the way faster than me," he said when I found the exit gate to Congress Center faster. "How come, Ika-San?" he asked me. Hi. Hi. I was just smiling.

"We took this way, Ika-San," he said after we were out of the station. We walked along the road, but then I asked, "Are you sure this is the way, Sensei?" He was confused and said, "Hhhm. I do not know." We decided to see the signs on the road. "No, Ika-San. The opposite direction," he said.

Finally we reached congress center. We entered the building and I found the statue of reconstruction work of Da Vinci, the grand master of the Italian Renaissance. It was the statue to depict General Fransesco Sforza mounted on horseback. At that time, Leonardo was commanded by Lord Ludovico of Milan to create the world`s largest statue. By November of 1493, Leonardo had completed a clay model of the horse alone which measured 7.2 meter in height.

It was Da Vinci who was always brave enough to take the challenge. "Fix your course to a star, and you can navigate any storms," was his famous words to me. Unfortunately, war interrupted his work at that point: the planned bronze casting was discontinued, and the clay model was destroyed.

The reconstruction of the "phantom statue" began with the construction of a two meter clay model based upon the study by Prof. Tanaka of Madrid manuscripts discovered in 1967 as well as a number of preparatory sketches. This model was enlarged using computer technology, and the final version of the statue molded in plastic (FRP), as the legs would not be able to support the weight of a bronze casting. It is the only of its kind in the world, brought into existence at last by Japanese research and technology.

We reached the venue for the welcome reception at Cascade Restaurant. "Again, Ika-San. How did you know that the dinner is in Cascade?" he asked me. "Sensei, I always make notes on everything," I said. "But how did you remember that?" he asked again. "We must remember it, Sensei. We must be clear with what we are going to do, right?" I said. "Okay, that is your nature. I never care," he said. "I know. Moreover, you forget everything easily," I said. He laughed. "I know that you know me well, Ika-San," he said.

In the reception, I met again Dr. T.S. Sampath Kumar. Time goes so fast. It has been a year passed after the conference in MIT (Madras Institute of Technology). "Hai, Ika-San, welcome," Prof. Ohtsuki, Prof. Yamashita, Prof. Osaka, and some others in Asian BioCeramics welcomed me. I did not find Prof. Ioku at that time. It has been very good to meet the society again.

"Ika-San, I have to discuss with them about tomorrow`s event. So, I am sorry I can not go back with you. I will call you later," Ishikawa told me. I told him, "Sensei, please do not worry. I can take care of myself. Please, take your time. And just call me early tomorrow morning. Okay?" He said okay, so I came back to my hotel and prepared myself for tomorrow`s event. I remember if that night I was thinking a lot about the future of my research. I hope that I reached my term already. I must shape the events happened to me these days . . . .

Nagoya, The Turning Point: Buy Difficulties, Ika-San!

2009-12-20T23:52:00.012+08:00

He is with Ohtsuki Sensei, the chair of the conference.

We were going to Nagoya Congress Center by Subway Meijo Line after our transit at Sakae from Higashiyama Line. We arrived at Nishi Takakura Station, the closest station from the congress center.

"You have to listen to me, Ika-San. You can not resign. You are lucky if you have difficulties to be on that position. Do you know Japanese famous proverb, Ika-San? If you do not have difficulties, find them. Even if you must buy difficulties, you have to buy them. You do not have to buy them, Ika-San. So, you are lucky. Please, do not resign from that position," he adviced me something related to the situation I face in my university.

The invited speakers were having dinner together.

"Sensei, I know where I must go. By the situations I face these days, I know it is difficult for me, but I am lucky because now I know that my home is research and education. I want to contribute through research and education, Sensei. I mean, I want to just continue doing research to bring my lab to be recognized internationally and educate my students on how to do research properly," I told him.

Two Koreans, one Indian, one Sri Lankan, one Indonesian, and the rest were Japanese at the dinner.

I know his feelings. "You must change your university, Ika-San. You must change your country. And I know you are more than capable to do that," he told me once. I still remember when someday, in Fukuoka, I told him, "Sensei, as a Japanese, you are lucky. If you want to do research, you just do it because you do not have to think of instrumentations, materials, money, or anything else."

He then looked into my eyes, got closer to me, and said, "Yes, Ika-San. You are right. We are lucky. Unfortunately, Ika-San, you are the one who can contribute more to your country. So as an Indonesian, you are more than lucky." It was a very touching conversation we had, one day . . . . It made us touched and tears were dropped from my eyes . . . .

Nagoya, The Turning Point: Via Shirakawa, Between Fushimi and Sakae

2009-12-20T22:44:00.011+08:00

"Ika-San, I will write you the address of the hotel where we have to stay during the conference in Nagoya," Ishikawa told me when we met in Penang, about two weeks before the conference in Nagoya. On that day, I arrived Nagoya Station at 16.37 by Nozomi from Tokyo.

I knew exactly where I had to go because as usual I made notes and tried to memorize everything along my journey. I headed to Subway Station for Higashiyama-Line from JR Nagoya Central Station. Based on what I noted, "Via Shirakawa" hotel is just one station from JR Central Station. I dropped in Fushimi Station and got out of the station by Exit #4.

He was at this door, using a winter cloth and smiling at me as usual . . . .

I was rather confused with the direction at that time because I lost orientation of South-North direction. "You are here," was written on the map and I knew that I had to go to Sakae Street. I asked two Japaneses on my way to the hotel. The last person was a young post-officer who showed me the way to the hotel. "Shosho o machi, kudasai. Watashi mo chotto wakaranai no desu yo," he said. It means, "Please wait for a moment because I also do not know the way." Then he opened the map and he saved me from wasting time to go around the area.

Via Shirakawa, a hotel between Fushimi and Sakae area in Nagoya.

It was around 17.00 o`clock (but since it was winter time, it was like 20.00 or even 21.00) when I was right at the front desk. I was about to get my room key of #815 when someone was entering the lobby. He was using black winter cloth, smiling and winking at me, while continuing his telephone. He was Ishikawa. "How are you, Ika San?" he greet me first. "Fine, Sensei," I replied him. "I will go first, Sensei," I told him. "Okay, I will call you from my room. Please wait for a while for my checking in, okay?" he said. "Okay, Sensei. I will see you soon," I said.

It was around 9 years ago when I first met him. I was his first PhD student because he was still very young when he moved to be a professor in Kyushu University. He has been teaching me many things, not only scientific aspects but also managerial aspects and about life itself. Since I was graduated five years ago, he has visited me 7 times and always visited me wherever I was having research works. "He will do whatever you want, Ika," that is what my colleagues think about our relation. But, it has been being the way we care each other.

"You are a researcher, Ika San. You must try everything because you need to know the answer," that what he always suggests me anytime. "So, are you doing that also, Sensei?" I asked one day. "No. Because I am shy, and I am not as smart as you," he said. "I am no more brave than you. You are smarter than me. So, I do not have to follow your suggestion because you yourself do not do that," I said. "No. No. May be I am better than you in chemistry, not in another thing, Ika San," he said. I was thinking of him when his call came to my room. "Are you ready to go for a dinner now? I will pick you up, Ika San," he said.

We had an opening reception in Nagoya Congress Center that evening. We went to Congress Center by subway and along the way, we never stopped talking, as usual. Debating, as usual. Laughing, as usual. That was the way we learn each other, challenge each other, and improve each other.

From Russia With Love . . . .

2009-12-20T22:17:00.008+08:00

It was sooo . . . long not to write on this blog. I have not finished my story on Tissue Engineering Workshop. I will continue it. No worry! After that . . . I also have to write you my story with Neta and Fesa in Singapore and Batu Pahat (Malaysia). We crossed the border of Singapore and Malaysia to visit a family (two families actually) in Batu Pahat and Johor Bahru. I will also write you that.

Passengers were waiting for a bullet train (Shinkansen) in Kyoto Station, on December 12, 2009.

I was so busy after our journey to Singapore and Johor Bahru since I had to rush to Tokyo, Kyushu, Kyoto, Kuala Lumpur, a workshop with Prof. Zee and Prof. Tabata in Yogyakarta, to be back to Penang, then again Nagoya and Tokyo. My life has changed so much in a quite short time. So, what is your story, My Dear Ika? Watch out, Musashi! It is still "Present Moment Wonderful Moment", My Dear Musashi!

But first . . . Let me continue my stories from Nagoya City. Just like what Fleming said: "If something different comes to your attention, or makes you concerned, follow it through the end. It may lead you to unexpected discovery." So . . . we will fly to Nagoya, until we find the discoveries. Life and soul discoveries. So, enjoy it from now on. This is not Matt Monro`s song: From Russia with Love, but from Nagoya with Love.

I Miss Writing . . . For Myself

2009-10-26T05:50:00.005+08:00

If you asked me what I really want to do these days, I really want to write for myself. Writing journals, published short stories, articles have been being part of my life. I realize my time to write has been reduced so much, except for writing research-related things and works-related things. I miss a small cool silent village where my grandpa was there.

World Peace Orchestra in UGM. Our campus is always colorful with live chamber orchestra, and music. An event to enjoy.

That night, the committee earned Rp 100 million to be sent to Padang, West Sumatra after the earth quake.

Some professors, in action. Prof. Anggito Abimanyu, Pak Danang`s big brother in his flute.

I want to go to a remote area alone. I miss to write, to blog, to silently take pictures . . . . "Enjoy the moment, Ika. Even in the situation you do not like. I am sure you can do great and enjoy each moments, My Dearest Sis," Mas Taufik, who visited our family today, adviced me. So, Ika, enjoy today, do your best, write more, play violin, and contribute more and more, though just a tiny one!

Intermezo: World Peace Orchestra, Lively Campus

2009-10-19T06:43:00.005+08:00

The sinergy of music and student dancing club in an orchestra.

Rector symbolically sent Rp 100 million to Padang. The committee earned the money during the concert.

Synergy of local and foreign musucians in UGM.

Young musicians, young artists, covered my university that night. Almost every month we have live music concert, including chamber orchestra.

Stop Press: Ita, I am Crying . . . .

2009-09-13T10:50:00.009+08:00

Dear Ita Fauzia Hanoum. First time we met when you represented your junior high school, I represented mine. We were in television for "cerdas cermat". The whooooole family of my junior high school (and me of course) were so happy because we won the competition. Hi. Hi. I remembered the last question: about music. I pushed the bell, and said, "Canon!" And that made the game over! All teachers (ladies for sure) kissed me . . . . Television spectators who knew our school congratulated my group!

Ita, with the jacket. Ika is . . . Ita, Rina, Ika, Yulinar, Dina, Wikan, Ima, Meida, Esti, and Erlina.

But then we were in the same class. Naughty class! If other classes had 40 students, our class just had 18 of us! We were in a special treated class. Not because we were clever or smart I believe, but because of because. Hi. Hi. Looooong time after we were at the same class, we have been being in contact, up and down. You came, you went away, I came, I went away, . . . . This morning, you came to me and said, "You will have your birthday this month, Ika. You are always inspiring, Ika." Then you sent your message, like this:

Ika, You are a book.
Yang nggak ada duanya di dunia.
Yang dengan baik bersedia dibaca.
Oleh siapa saja.
Karena dirimu tahu, sangat tahu,
Bahwa isinya menarik dan penting.
Dan tetap saja . . . .
Ika adalah Ika yang sangat humanis . . . .

Ita, you made me cry. You are always good to me. You made my life more beautiful. That is what friends are for, Ita. Learning each other. Not only good thing, but also bad things. I hope I will never cover myself. People should read me clearly. I also remember my advice from my friend in Delhi, "Ika, it is good to have child personality inside yours. Do not miss it. If you miss it, you will die." I asked him why. I will tell you someday his answer.

After Memorial Lecture: You Do Not Need To Rush, Ika-San

2009-09-13T08:05:00.007+08:00

The second day of the workshop. Keep moving forward, Musashi.
Keep it up.

It has been good and productive workshop. We promised each other to rerun the workshop yearly, to improve not only knowledge but also the spirit of the whole research members. "I have to take him to the airport, Mbak Nina, so I think it is better for Prof. Jansen to be with you."

Mbak Nina and me, with them.

"I do not know, Ika-San. I go everywhere but I always feel comfortable here in Yogyakarta," Tabata told me. He planned to come again two weeks after that day. "Thank you, Sensei. We all feel very honored to have you here. We are nothing scientifically compared to your lab but you are always willing to work with us. I was touched Sensei because you were willing to attend our small and unimportant workshop for you. You were in KL just to attend Prof. Jansen`s talk," I told him. We talked on some personal matters as well as having joke on "Osaka no Obaachan".

When there was me in the picture, the picture will not be good, right? Cheese . . . .

Finally, I had to say, "Ja mata ne, Sensei." It was so fast. I still remembered when he arrived in KLIA. Prof. Jansen and Nafa was there and he said, "Ika-Saaaaaan . . . I miss you. I miss you. You did not show up in Singapore. Why?" Time flies so fast. I promised myself to use opportunity to bring my research group and students to fly to the seventh sky. "You do not need to rush, Ika-San. Just continue. I know you did great. Even you develop infrastructure for interdisciplinary research better than many labs in Kyoto. Do not worry, Ika-San," Tabata adviced me.

Stop Press: I Want To Love You Simply

2009-09-12T19:01:00.004+08:00

I want to just simply love you . . . .

Sapardi Djoko Damono (a poem writer) wrote the following poem. It has been my favorite poem for a long time. Then, Vina Panduwinata, my favorite singer, sang a very beautiful song using the lyrics from my favorite poem. Now, I am sending the poem by Sapardi for you. Somewhere. Something you must know: I have been crying these days for you . . . . My praying goes to you, without words . . . .

Sometimes without words, without promises . . . .

"aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana;
dengan kata yang tak sempat diucapkan
kayu kepada api yang menjadikannya abu

aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana;
dengan isyarat yang tak sempat disampaikan awan kepada hujan yang menjadikannya tiada"

Love birds . . . .

After Memorial Lecture: Productive And Sometimes Tough Discussions

2009-08-17T08:28:00.010+08:00

Tabata and me in the workshop. I delivered some notes.

I turned my cell phone silent during the workshop, and put into my bag. So . . . many colleagues were complaining about that. They called my secretary and I have been so lucky to have Ibu Lipur as my secretary. She knows exactly what we want and need and she is very professional. Someone sent me a message, "Why you are so silent?" It was an important step to improve leverage of the second and third levels in the research group, including students so that I really needed to concentrate "only" on the workshop.

Fruitful discussions.

The students told me, "This is the first great workshop we are invited, usually we have to register, and first time for us not to pay anything." Yes, it has been a trend that labs will sell workshops. I did not want that. The objective should be achieved. Before, I also opened the lecturer by Jansen, Tabata, Ishikawa, or Sander freely. That is why before, during, and after the workshop many colleagues outside the participants complained me, "Ika . . . why you did not invite us? I saw it great programs. We can pay, Ika." No. This was a part of research. The objective was clear. I did not want to mislead it. However, I tried to make a joke to answer them.

Dancing presentation by Tabata.

The discussions during the workshop was very productive. I was glad and proud of my students. They asked and shared many things related to research experiences.I will never forget those days. The works should begin soon. We discussed, shared experiences, argued, proposed some joint works. I really have a big dream. But Ika, please remember. You can not only dream of it. You have to set up strategy to achieve your goals! I will. For sure, I will. Insya Allah.

The chair and co-chair.

At night, we had dinner together with some university managers. After the dinner, Tabata wanted me to accompany him to listen to traditional instrument. It was so beautiful "sitar" music. We talked for a while before going to our rooms. No wine, Sensei. So sorry. And good night. Thank you for the days you spent here . . . .

I was preparing files with Jansen.

After Memorial Lecture: A Clear Day For The TE Workshop

2009-08-16T23:39:00.006+08:00

A clear day on Wednesday.

A paparazzi worked to get us. Smile! A smiling faces of Jansen, Tabata, and me.

It was so exciting to have a program in KL. After that, we moved to Yogyakarta. I was in the airplane with Tabata Sensei, and Prof. Jansen took different flight. Tabata Sensei and I had interesting conversations related to culture and religion. "Hi. Hi. Did you look at the flight attendant face? We surprised her," Tabata Sensei told me. We had a secret event in the airplane. Hi. Hi. I will tell you later because it was our experiment on something.

We talked a lot about research system in Kyoto and in UGM. "We had the same situation, Ika. We have to be brave to break the culture in our university. Your situation is exactly the same as my situation before," he told me. We talked a lot on sake and wine since I learned a book on sake and wine. "Ishikawa is correct, Ika. You are a researcher. You must know everything you want to know," he said. The conversation brought us to Jakarta fast. We arrived almost at the same time with Jansen. "Ika, I just left the custom," Prof. Jansen sent me a message.

A warm, dynamic, and exciting workshop.

Sensei, are you touched by my speech? I delivered the concept and the future perspective of the workshop.

Interesting scientific discussion. An undergraduate student Danis will fly to Ishikawa`s lab, Sunarso just came back from the same lab and will continue in USM-UGM-Kyushu. Ruslin is still in Kyushu. Anne is still completing her works in Jansen`s lab and our lab . Other will follow to their labs.

Tabata got the VoA fast but the custom officer asked him, "Are you a Moslem?" Maybe because he came with me. Meanwhile, I got surprised when the custom asked me and Tabata, "Are you his wife?" I did not say anything and Tabata laughed. I should have told the officer that too friendly is also not good. We had a good journey to Yogyakarta, talked a lot on the plan for the next day, and confirmed everything. Prof. Jansen told us as usual, "Do not worry. Ika is very organized." And I hoped I would be very organized for the workshop.

I was so happy to find the very sunny and beautiful day on the workshop. I was also happy to see optimistic faces of the research group members. I invited three participants from Textile Research Center in Bandung that we have collaboration with. Some collaborators from other faculties and other departments who so far suppport us were also invited.

Stop Press: Happy Birthday, Sensei!

2009-08-15T23:14:00.006+08:00

We were in Thailand for a conference.

Dear Ishikawa Sensei, I know you have been so busy as usual. I just want to take this opportunity to send you my birthday greeting. Frankly, your life has contributed a lot to my research and academic career.

"Next time, it is your turn, Ika, to be the organizer in the Asian Bioceramics," you told me once. You gave opening remarks on ABC 2008 in Madras, India.

You put me as a special student. You gave me opportunity to learn from you not only on ceramics and chemistry but also in managerial aspects of the university. It has been so glad to have your sharing on bioceramics, academic life, culture, and everything. You put me without any differences with other Japanese students. "You are not worry to have a debate with me. You will say honestly what you want to say. You will be against me if you think I am not correct. You are exception, and very special for me, Ika," you said.

You helped me talking with Izumi-San, the Hi-Link project coordinator, in our Hi-Link Office in UGM. Hi-Link between Kyushu University and UGM will enter the second phase this coming year.

Yes, I remembered, you asked me to stay to be your assistant. I said, "Thank you, Sensei. But I have to go home for my country." Even up to now you take me as a listener for the lab problems. I am glad to be on that position, Sensei. You did not only format my academic and research career, Sensei, but you also the one who introduced me and made me get involved with the world`s eminent tissue engineering scientists.

You visited me in the Netherlands. Sander, me, and you.

So . . . let us just continue what we have so far. Please, do not change anything. I have been being more than happy to be your student and your friend. You can come back to me anytime to share me anything you want to share, Sensei. I also still need to listen to your advice, your supports, and . . . one thing: Our joint works should be continued successfully. So . . . we do not need to change anything. We do not need to change our relation format. And thank you for being a wonderful person who has great and significant contributions to my research and academic life. Happy birthday!

Happy Anniversary, Musashi!

2009-08-13T02:17:00.011+08:00

Today, August 12, 2009. Sixteen years ago, I still remember. I was so young, so dynamic. I almost did not want to have family because I wanted to do many things I would like to do. Now I know. I am happy to have Mas Rahman, Neta, and Fesa as happy as I have many good things in my life, including friends, gurus, and people I meet.

Today, August 12, 2009, is my marriage anniversary. I know . . . that we still need to have rooms for ourselves (without knowing each other), but I also know that I need to share something with my hubby. I still remember an advice from Mas Taufik Rahzen, my guru, "Ika, cinta itu kesetiaan dan pernikahan itu kewajiban. Keduanya tidak dapat saling meniadakan. Menikahlah dengan Rahman. Ia baik untukmu. Percayalah padaku."

The picture of the marriage of my mother and my father.

I know, even my mother was not able to make me think of marriage. My guru and brother finally was able to deliver my mother`s message and made me get married. And I know I have been having good times with Mas Rahman. And I am proud of Neta and Fesa. I hope I can be a good mother for them.

The Blora Institute, where Mas Taufik, Mas Rahman, and me will start our "think tank" business we discussed last week. Here many works related to nation buildings have been studied, reviewed, and published by young activists.

Mas Taufik sent his message again on our anniversary, "I remind you on your anniversary. Please both of you finish a book on your visions in science and technology. Believe me that think tank business will be important these days for Indonesia."

Stop Press: Sander, Happy Birthday!

2009-07-24T00:25:00.008+08:00

Sander, I am sorry. I was so busy yesterday that I did not have time to send you birthday greeting. I still remember when first time I met Jansen in Indonesia. He told me, "First time I saw you, Ika, suddenly Sander popped up into my mind." I did not understand why he told me like that but now I understand . . . . Did you play a piano on your birthday?

Okay, next time if we meet, tell me again your story while I will tell you my story, Lion Castle! Thank you for being a good friend of mine. Thank you for understanding our culture, which is totally different from yours: the people, the way we people think, the norm, and everything.

We were in Savarijn, Nijmegen.

In dei nomine feliciter. A corner close to our lab.

Post-scriptum:

I want Anne (my dear friend and colleague) to be successful to complete her PhD study. If she fails, that is my fault. Hold on this, Sander.

Notes: I Want To Make People Live In A Developed Indonesia

2009-07-23T07:35:00.009+08:00

A picture collection in an apartment in Jakarta, where I sometimes spend my days with my family.

After one of the talks delivered by Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam, a ten-year-old girl came up to him for his autograph. "What is your ambition?" Abdul Kalam asked her. "I want to live in a developed India," she replied without hesitation. I want to be like her. I want to dedicate everything I do to make Indonesian people live in a developed Indonesia.

Again, a picture collection on dislexia.

So Musashi, you may rest, but do not quit! Yes, I am moving around now for the lecture series. Jakarta, Surabaya, Yogyakarta again, Jakarta, Bandung, Bogor to develop better education and research culture in my country, to change mind-set of people, to introduce what we believe as a better approach in research and education.

Sometimes I feel so tired. Sometimes I feel I spend my times on the flight, far away from the ground, and no one will know what will happen. Sometimes I miss my lab since I like doing experiments, including life experiments. But I know . . . I hope . . . I can contribute (though just a tiny) something to make people live in a developed Indonesia. Amin.

Post-scriptum:

Sometimes, the participants make a joke on me during the QA Session. Yesterday, a participant told me, "I was so confused this morning why beautiful Manohara was here to give lecture. Finally I understand, Ibu Ika Manohara delivered something important for us to rethink." Hi. Hi. He did not know that I do not like what Manohara has been doing, although she is really beautiful. So, I am Ika. I am just me.

A Meeting Point in KL: The Plan, The Ranjeet Lecture, and The Birthday

2009-07-21T08:11:00.010+08:00

In the morning, I prepared myself to check out. "Ika, I am at the lobby now. Do not forget to bring some notes to discuss on the advanced technology workshop," an aerospace engineer professor who so far helps me rethink of myself and think strategically came to visit us and to discuss with Tabata. We had some plans and I introduced him to Tabata.

I ran away from the dinner to buy the card in Kinokuniya . . . .

"Ika, how come you know him since your subject is far?" Tabata asked me. Jansen told them, "Ika knows everybody." Jansen (and Sander) always say, "Ika knows everything. We have to know everything." I told them, "Based on Walter Loesberg research, microgravity plays an important role on the cell orientation which influences its regeneration. That is why aerospace engineering close to tissue engineering." They laughed.

I told Tabata already that the story came up from Berlin where we were chosen from Asian countries and trained in an International Deans Course on how to manage higher education, including managing networks. There, I met university managers from different areas. Only 26 of us actually but I am sure we have been trying to manage the relations. Yes, sometimes we think that only people from the same area we should communicate with.

That short morning, I was lucky to have a very productive discussion with Prof. Shahnor before we had a memorial lecture. I tried to formulate the plan based on our discussion but I do not know whether I would be able to realize it or not. Hopefully I would, I have to. In the memorial lecture, we also had a birthday cake of Jansen. It was a great day for us all. And hopefully I can cherish the day by having greater and more productive works, for not disappointing them.

A Meeting Point in KL: Fruitful Program

2009-07-20T08:31:00.009+08:00

Jansen gave lecture on Nanotechnology Research Center in BP then we visited the center and rapid prototyping lab. "You can use my collaboration with MESA in Twentech as your model to cooperate with Nafa, Ika," he advised me. It was a very productive day for us all, and Dr. Nafa was very good and generous. We were sorry for not having Prof. Zee. He met us the day before because he was busy with his schedule.

The roof of Suria KLCC that night.

"How are you, Ika? You have been so quiet. What are you doing now?" Tabata wrote me someday. "I am sorry, Sensei. I am now preparing a workshop with Prof. Jansen," I told him. To my surprise, he asked me, "Can I also attend the workshop?" I told Jansen about that and Jansen told me, "Great, Ika."

Then I arranged the workshop with Jansen and Tabata. "I will also join you in KL, Ika, if you allow me. I will rearrange my schedule," he told me. "But I am worry you will only listen to Prof. Jansen . . . ," I told him. "Daijoubu, Ika-San. Only please help me to arrange the flight. I will go with you from KL," he said. I got surprised because he must be busy, but it was like that.

We finally developed the workshop content and modules together. They helped me a lot. So, on July 13, he came to KLIA. "You go to pick him up, I go with Nafa for a cup of coffee," Jansen told me and laughed. It was so many Japanese came . . . but so long to wait for him to come up.

"Ika-Saaan. Ohisashiburi. I miss you. I miss you," he said. "You did not show up in Singapore," he said. Yes, as usual, he was so energetic, with only one bag, and very expressive. And that night, four of us had a dinner together in Suria KLCC, also with Dr. Nafa`s friend, Fransiska. "You are naughty, Ika. You made us wait for you," Tabata laughed when I asked them to wait for me for more than 15 minutes. "Sorry? Okay. But you were still late," Jansen posed as he was like being angry to me. Tabata laughed.

That night I asked Dr. Nafa to get back to the hotel soon because I had something to finish. "Ika-San, ashita kyuu ji da ne. Okay?" Tabata reminded me with his fingers pointed to my face and laughed. That night, I did not sleep well to finish some works, read some literatures I brought from Yogyakarta, and do some arrangements, to spend my busy night at Seri Pacific #1021.

A Meeting Point in KL: On The Way To BP

2009-07-20T07:36:00.009+08:00

I arrived KL that afternoon, met my friend Nafa, and picked up Jansen. "Ika, I just arrived. I am in the train to custom. John," a message came. Then we finally met. "Hai, Ika. Nice to see you again," he said. It was great to have a "parent" in research like him.

Anne my friend told me, "Do you know, Ika? If you asked something from him, he would always give you. I felt that as his student." It was started from my post-doctoral program three years ago. Inside my mind, I did not want that only me who get the benefit."You can stay here permanently, Ika, if you want," he asked me.

The Katerina Hotel, a nice hotel in BP.

"I want my colleagues come to your lab, and I want to improve the capacity of my lab, in Indonesia," I told Jansen and Ishikawa three years ago in a kick-off meeting in Yogyakarta. I did not want full two to three years post-doctoral abroad. I wanted some parts are done in my own lab.

Since then, I have been traveling regularly to their labs. They sent me their post-doctoral researchers to teach us some techniques regularly. Sander came. Matsuya and Suzuki came. We sent our specimens to be tested. They sent their specimens to be analyzed. Ishikawa sent me some materials. And we have been exchanging both undergraduates and graduates regularly. Ishikawa visited my works in Netherlands. Jansen visited Ishikawa in Japan.

Jansen asked WHO to support our research members to come to his lab. I asked KNAW of Royal Netherlands and JSPS to support my side. The collaboration expanded when I met Tabata in Amsterdam, a good friend of Ishikawa and Jansen. We have been writing joint publications. Last time I asked Jansen to come with me to BP, "Please. I have visited the university. I need your advice to start up joint works." Then he said, "Okay, Ika. Please arrange the schedule." We communicated three parties then, involving Dr. Nafa and Prof. Zee. That is how he finally visited BP that day.